The Walking Dead: “The Well”

We’ve seen fire and we’ve seen rain, now it’s time to hide from the pain for a little bitty while, I guess, and join the wacky adventures of Carol and Morgan as they enter the gates of the Kingdom!


Carol awakens and finds Morgan watching over her in the least stalkery way possible and demands to know where they are and what he’s touched.   Morgan takes her on a tour of their new sanctuary, a community torn right out of a Normal Rockwell painting if Norman Rockwell painted zombie apocalypses… or is that Apocalypti?   What is the plural of Apocalypse?   Doesn’t matter because THIS is the Kingdom and it’s ruled by a King!   Good thing they didn’t call the place The Country.   The king is named Ezekiel, more commonly known as King Ezekiel and he has a motherfucking tiger as a pet… henceforth, I shall be calling Ezekiel, King Kickass.

Carol is amused and goes along with it until they’re out of earshot at which point she asks Morgan what the fuck is wrong with this episode?   It’s like they wandered into a survival colony made up of a liberal art college!  Morgan urges her to stick around because it’s only ten minutes in, but Carol tells him that it doesn’t matter what he thinks and what he does, she is going to leave eventually and be out of her own.  Morgan, however, still wants to save her from herself because he knows that Carol is the only one who can really defeat Carol because she is so mighty.

King Kickass invites Morgan to come along on a pig hunt where Morgan saves this kid named Benjamin from becoming walker chow.    King Zeke, impressed by this, invites Morgan to help train Benjamin in his special sticky-sticky-whack-whack technique.   Morgan is reluctant – should he take on a padawan when he has failed to save Carol?  — but agrees anyway so that he has something to do during this episode.

Oh shit!   They’ve thrown in post-apocalyptic Glee!

One eighties training montage later, Benjamin is becoming quite adept at Morgan’s brand of non-violent violence and King Zeke invites them out on a top-secret mission where they exchange the slaughtered pigs from the hunt earlier to The Saviors.    There’s a scuffle, but it is resolved relatively peaceful-like.   King Zeke reveals that he wants Morgan to stick around because of his experience with the Saviors who the kingdom gives half of their shit to.

Back at the Kingdom, Morgan is still bummed by his inability to control Carol’s choices until he realizes that Carol’s choices should always be Carol’s and that he should stop being such a controlling asshole.   With this epiphany farted into his head, Morgan goes to tell Carol the good news, but she has already left.

Carol is gathering supplies for her self-imposed exile when King Ezekiel appears and tries to convince her to stay.   He sees through her dotty innocent demeanor and Carol says that she knowns that Zeke isn’t really a king.    No shit?   The two level with each other and Zeke reveals he used to be a zookeeper and that he had a strong bond with his tiger.   As people met him and his cat, the myth grew around him and he allowed it to because it gave people hope.   He offers Carol an alternative to leaving…. Leave, but don’t leave.

So, Carol decides to move out to the suburbs and into a quite house on her own where she can be alone.   Morgan says an Ernest goodbye to her and then leaves her there, but she’s not alone for long because King Zeke and Shiva show up like a couple of good neighbors and offers Carol a taste of his low-hanging fruit.

They are so gonna bone.


Well, this was certainly different.

I have to admit, I wasn’t fully on board with this one given the gravitas of the last episode, but I actually won me over because it was a little goofy and a little light and, to be honest, I think I kinda needed that after watching two friends get turned into a chunky salsa last week.  I think needed more than a week to digest that premiere.

I can already see that this is going to be a divisive sonofabitch and that’s okay… I know the sudden tonal change isn’t going to sit well with everyone, but if you ask me… I think that we need a message of hope right now on this show and it’s okay to have a semi-happy ending for once.

Khary Payton is delightful as Ezekiel.  Shiva looks amazing.   I already bracing myself for both of their inevitable deaths.  I really dig how this episode kind of did its own thing but still managed to tie into the main plot with the appearance of the saviors so we’re not too removed from what is going on.

It might have been a low calorie offering, but I’m cool with it.

Thank you for watching.  If you liked what you’ve seen and you want to see more, give that subscribe button a click and, if you hated what you saw here, my name is Pewdeepie.   You could always like us on Facebook if you’re cool enough, or throw us some money on Patreon like we’re a dirty homeless guy on the street and it makes you feel like a powerful and benevolent god.   Got something you want to say?   Something you want to ask?   Why the hell should I care?   Fine.   Comment below then.  Jesus.

As always, we’ll be back next week with another review of The Walking Dead.






About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.