The Walking Dead: “Service”

It’s been a particularly shitty week for the citizens of Alexandria.   Not only have they lost the only Asian in town and perhaps in the entire world, but they’ve also gone a week without any of Abraham’s witty colloquialisms.   Yes, Abe, we remember you too and we miss you!

Neegan shows up at the gate early and demands entry.  Rick, of course, being the recently neutered shell of a man he’s been since the season premiere rolls over and show’s Neegan his belly in submission and Neegan responds by forcing Rick to hold his metaphor as he proceeds to spread Alexandria’s cheeks open and shove his manhood into a place God doesn’t want it to go.

Father Gabriel, showing more balls than a bowling alley, tells Neegan that Maggie has apparently died and I totally buy that without seeing the death scene or the body.   This tet-a-tet is interrupted as Carl is holding a gun to some Saviors who are trying to take all of the survivor’s medicine.   Neegan, though impressed with Carl’s bravery and silky flowing hair, reminds him that his dick is still planted firmly in his father’s ass and then, not only takes Corral’s gun, but all the guns in the encampment as well.  Way to go, Carl, you pudding sucking twit.

While taking all of Alexandria’s guns like an Obama gun confiscation squad – I guess they MISSED my neighborhood – Neegan realizes that two handguns are missing and decides to hold Olivia accountable.

Rick, tail between his legs and leaving a small trail of urine behind him, pleads with the Alexandrites two turn over the missing guns and it’s then that he realizes that the woman he’s been fucking for the last few months is missing.   Goddamn, Rick!   This isn’t like not noticing a new haircut or blouse!   This is serious, man!

But it turns out that Michonne doesn’t have the guns, they were squirreled away by everyone’s favorite sniveling sack of shit, Patrick.   Rick not only turns those guns over to Neegan, but also takes a rifle from Michonne which probably assures he won’t be getting any for a long long time.  He wouldn’t have enjoyed it without his balls anyway.

As we close the episode, Rick reveals that he knows that Judith isn’t his real daughter to which long-time fans of the Walking Dead respond with… AH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!


More than just losing Glenn and Abraham, the survivors have lost their nerve.   In the face of what looks like insurmountable odds, they’ve all folded, not out of cowardice, but self-preservation.   In some ways, this is the most humiliating defeat possible and it’s hitting Rick hard.

On the other hand, other survivors are finding unexpected strength.   Did anyone hear the gigantic thud as Father Gabriel’s balls hit the floor during this episode?   I most certainly didn’t see that coming and, let me tell you, for the first time since they introduced that tragically abysmal character, I was actually glad to have him around.

The crux of this episode was just more of Neegan smearing his jizz in Rick’s face and, during the entire episode, all I could focus on is just how goddamn perfect Jeffery Dean Morgan is as Neegan.  This is the role was born to play and I cannot think of anyone else who could play him so damn perfectly.

I do enjoy how, even while looking up into a shitstorm, Rick is still Rick.   He’s been broken, yes, but he’s still there and the real Rick is still peeking out a little at a time just waiting for an opportunity to make Neegan pay.

I enjoyed this episode.   It smashed the Daryl and Alexandria stories together and, after three weeks, we’re finally seeing the actual fallout from the season premiere.  Feels like progress and I’ll take progress over spinning dramatic wheels any day of the week.


About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.