The Ridiculous 6

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Adam Sandler…

I know… I know… I just lost you.  I’m not looking down on you, man.  If anything, I applaud your sophistication and good judgement.  These days, putting Adam Sandler’s name on anything is akin to putting M. Night Shyamalan’s name on anything:  An instantaneous guarantee of non-entertaining shit.  At least, however, M. Night’s shit is shit that is so infuriatingly bad that it makes you angry and makes you feel something.  Getting mad at Adam Sandler’s shit is like getting angry at the kid at the Special Olympics who stops running to eat grass.

Okay, so…  Adam Sandler…

facts_about_lifeDo you know what really gets my ass dander about Sandler?  He doesn’t seem to give a good goddamn about any movie he’s been in ever.  Sure, he’s had some flukes like Happy Gilmore and, uh…   Happy Gilmore, but overall, he looks like he rolls his eyes before every take like an overly-entitled teenager whining, “Do I really have to do this now?” and then making an annoying noise and walking through the take like a zombie.  It pisses me off to see him make such a low effort when there are hundreds of actors out there that would cut off one of their nipples with a razor blade to do it.

So yeah, Adam Sandler plays a guy who was raised by Indians and, upon meeting his real father, played by Nick Nolte who’s really slumming it these days, goes off on a quest across the old west to find his brothers and raise 50,000 dollars to save their whore of a dad.

With an Adam Sandler movie, it’s not a question of if it will suck, but rather how badly will it suck and the answer is, pretty badly.  It’s not Pixels bad, but that’s probably because they’re not destroying the memories of classic video game characters that we love.  As it is, The Ridiculous 6 just buries the comedy western genre in a shallow grave… finishing the job that Seth MacFarland started.

Seriously, we all saw Blazing Saddles.  How hard can it be to make a Western comedy?

It’s a shit movie with shit humor and a shit script.  I honestly have no foggy goddamn idea how this kind of garbage gets made.  How any investor can look at the words on paper they were writing for this film and just say, “Here, have a few million dollars.”  Surely by now, it can’t be Adam Sandler’s name recognition because it’s worth a bloody squirt of diseased piss now.  Does Netflix think that they can attract Adam Sandlers handful of loyal retarded friends to their service?  Jesus Christ… if this is what creative freedom does to an Adam Sandler movie, then creative freedom is overrated.

This movie is just bullshit on every level.  It’s not funny, it feels like it lasts forever, and it seems like no one gives a good goddamn about what they’re making.  Jorge Garcia at least commits to his role as a caveman and Taylor Lautner is at least attempting to do something different (and, you know, with a decent script he might actually have a future in comedy), but everyone else in the gang phones it in on a garbled line.

Ridiculous 6 is bad, don’t get me wrong, but it even sucks at being bad, maintaining a level of unfunny “meh” so that it’s not even worthy of being hated.  As it is, Ridiculous 6 inspires nothing… no laughs and no anger.  It’s just a thing that exists…  available for free on Netflix so that you can’t even regret buying the ticket.  Even that is robbed from you.

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.