Terminator Genisys

http://slightlywarped.com/terminator-genisys/
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You just can’t keep a good cyborg down.

0Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in the role that made him famous in the unfortunately titled Terminator Genisys, the fifth installment in the Terminator franchise.

Yes, we’re still counting the last one even though it shouldn’t count at all, really.

Fuck you, Christian Bale.

Chronicling the events leading up to the first Terminator movie, John Conner and Kyle Reese – in the post apocalyptic world of tomorrow that pits man against machine – fight their final fight against the evil machine master, Skynet and, when they beat it, they discover that it has sent a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah Conner, John’s mother, before he is even born.

Yes, I know that you know this… shut up and let me finish.

Kyle volunteers for the mission and travels back in time only to be greeted by a liquid metal T-1000 who wants to kill him and a much more capable Sarah Conner who has been raised by a T-800 she affectionately called “Pops” since she was a little girl.  History’s been changed, the future’s been reset, and only a strange vague memory of something called “Genisys” leads the trio on a chase to once again put down Skynet before it comes online.

Someone really needs to tell the Terminator ad department what the point of a twist is.  Just in case you haven’t seen the commercials for this film, there is a twist in the movie, it’s done very well, and it would have been amazing had it not been given away by this film’s idiotic ad campaign that made the twist part of every trailer, commercial, and poster that has been plastered everywhere for the last year.

Oh, incidentally… don’t look at the poster in this review either.

Sorry.

Folks, this would be like The Sixth Sense being marketed as “See the movie where Bruce Willis was dead the whole time!”  It’s moronic and tragic that people this stupid still have a job in the industry.

If you haven’t seen The Sixth Sense yet… Sorry.

But, you really can’t blame the movie for that misstep, so let’s ignore that gargantuan marketing fuckup and move on.

I’m not one to bitch about other critics when I start a review, but I have watched with equal measure of disgust and fascination these last few weeks as people who have not seen Terminator Genisys have been calling it the worst Terminator movie ever.

Sorry, but as someone who has seen Terminator Genisys, the worst Terminator movie is still…

You know.

That which shall not be named.

The truth is, Terminator Genisys is a fun movie, full of action and humor and heart.  It’s got some very inventive ideas, the alternate timeline was a nice way to shake things up, and the twist would have been outstanding had the marketing department not fucked things up.

Now, that being said, Terminator Genisys is not in the same ballpark as Terminator One or Two, but it’s neighbors with Terminator 3 which was a fun movie in of itself, so in that regard, I’m happy.  If Terminator Genisys was the worst that the franchise had to offer, it would still be a good goddamn franchise.

But the worst is still… you know…

It seems to me, however, that a lot of people are mad that Terminator Genisys isn’t Terminator 2 and, honestly, how could it be?  I know that, when a sequel is made, you invite comparisons and, in comparison, Terminator Genisys does not measure up.  On the other hand, it’s Terminator 2 which is one of the best action adventure movies ever made… how could it possibly compare?

The comparisons, in the end, really do good movies a disservice and so, I’m going to stand up here in front of God and country and proclaim for all the world to hear that Terminator Genisys is actually… a pretty good movie suffering from a case of unfair comparison.  Is it as good as the first two Terminator movies?  Not even close, but it’s just about as good as Terminator 3 and shit-tons better than Terminator Salvation.

In many ways, it’s clever.  It’s heartfelt, it does things with the mythology that keep it fresh, and the twists in the plot – even if they were ruined – are surprising and hardcore.

I actually read a few reviews of this movie before I watched it and I’m especially puzzled by the claims that the time-traveling plot was hard to follow.  I’m not sure how it was hard to follow because I’m not that smart of a person and I followed it just fine.

I don’t know… I’ve heard of sequel fatigue before, but usually it’s the movies running out of ideas which Terminator Genisys didn’t.  It came in with new ideas, new angles, and tributes to the original movies while veering off and bravely doing its own thing.  If anything, that should be admired about it.  I’m just unsure why Star Trek was lauded for an alternate timeline story while Terminator isn’t.  It’s just so strange to me.

This is the thing:  I enjoy things that are enjoyable and Terminator Genisys is immensely enjoyable.  I was never bored, I laughed, and I enjoyed the nostalgia of seeing Arnold play the Terminator again.  I’m even looking forward to the sequels that were obviously set up at the end.

I’m not usually one to point out when the critics get it wrong, but in this case, the critics got it wrong.

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.
  • toxiceye

    It was fine, but it left me with a few too many questions. Mostly “who instigated twist #1, and are they opposed to whomever instigated twist #2?” I don’t see how they could be the same person, but it would be a hell of a twist #3. But then again, as they say in Star Trek lingo: “time travel, man.”