Movie Reviews


Are you scared of clowns? Evil man-eating demon clowns? Who wouldn’t be? But, can that fear maintain an entire movie about a man-eating demon clown? Let’s find out!

Movie Reviews

Lights Out

This film has a mission from the opening act and sets all of its energy on that mission and seeing a movie tell a story in such an efficient and focused way is refreshing. The fact that it’s actually scary is a welcome bonus.

Movie Reviews

The Conjuring 2

These are characters who care about each other and seem more real than the “edgy” characters that seem to keep getting pooped out into these movies. Not once did I think, “Oh, I hope that asshole dies” like I did in Sinister 2 or the last Paranormal Activity movie – it’s the Poltergeist effect. Make the audience love your characters and then make the characters go through Hell.

Movie Reviews

Crimson Peak

Nowadays, filmmakers are always trying to do something new and edgy and original when there’s something to be said for the traditional… a bleak setting, a dark house, spooks coming down the hallways. How sad is it that traditional has become nontraditional and movies like Crimson Peak and The Woman In Black are the anomalies when they should be the rule?

Movie Reviews

10 Cloverfield Lane

This movie didn’t need to be a “successor” to Cloverfield. It didn’t need to have the stigma and expectations tacked onto it. By itself, this movie is like a really intense episode of The Twilight Zone. Not game-changing or overtly wonderful, but really good none the less. By slapping a “Cloverfield” title onto it, you change expectations and you guarantee the “twist” ending isn’t twist anymore. It would be like calling The Sixth Sense, Ghost II.

Movie Reviews

The Witch

I know what I hate… and I don’t hate this despite a multitude of reasons why I should. I’m more disappointed in it like I would be with an expensive show dog that stared into my eyes and then shits on the carpet, all waging its tail and back-kicking with a panting smile thinking that it did a good job when you just want to hit it with a newspaper.