Movie Reviews

Cult of Chucky

That, to me, is the saving grace to the Chucky movies that they are deeply aware of how ridiculous and stupid that they are and they have all the fun they can have with it. I myself, in turn, am fully aware of how stupid and ridiculous they are as well and, thanks to this self-awareness, I’m laughing with them instead of at them.

Movie Reviews

The Mummy (2017)

The Mummy is back and rebooted! This time there is no goofy and likeable Brenden Frasier helping us slodge through a stupid action movie… now we have the stilted and unlikable Tom Cruise making the stupid action movie stretch on for ages.

Movie Reviews

It (2017)

It’s disturbing, well-acted, it’s got some neat scares, I liked the cast, and Bill Skarsgård does what many considered impossible… be a Pennywise every bit as memorable as Tim Curry, even if it’s for different reasons.

Movie Reviews

Death Note

I’m confident that, even if you have never seen the anime, you’ll find this movie a worthless pile of shit as well. With so much going for it in the mythology, it’s almost fascinating to witness almost nothing go right.

Movie Reviews

Alien: Covenant

Alien: Covenant is a dumpster fire. A long, tedious, uninteresting and completely scareless movie that takes what should be simple survival horror and mixes it with psychological double-talk that is supposed to elevate it to philosophy, but really does nothing more than shove the movie’s head up its own ass so that it can sniff its own farts and convince itself that it’s some sort of designer perfume.