Futurama Meets Voyager
[Open on the Planet Express ship flying into a worm hole and out the other end]
[they pull up to a toll booth]
Troll: Worm Hole tax 500 dollars
Leela: Do I look like I have 500 dollars? We are on an important mission, to deliver this
box of Leola root to a Mister Neelix on planet Voyager.
Fry: Like the TV show?
Leela: NO! FOR THE THRID TIME THERE IS NO SHOW CALLED VOYAGER!
[Fry grumbles and sits back down]
Bender: We promise we will pay you 1000 on the way back.
Troll: But {Ship zooms past with Bender yelling: SUCKER!}
Leela: That's Just great Bender, Now they aren't going to let us go back!
Bender: Don't worry I'll tear you a new one...You know a new hole.
~ Meanwhile on Voyager ~
Tom: Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care, Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care...
Doc: You wouldn't care if the ship came to a screeching halt and we all died.
Tom: The ship came to a screeching halt and I don't care...
Doc: you know ever since that Jerry Springer incident you have been much more annoying.
Tom: More annoying then the captain before her fist coffee break?
Doc: That's a little far...
Neelix: OH MY GOD IS SHE GOING TO BE OKAY? {hyperventilating}
Doc: Well ever since the Captain beat her over the head with those roses...
Neelix: I hope that supply of Leola root comes in soon.
Kes: NO! GOD NO! NO MORE OF THAT SOUP! I'M FINE! [Kes Hops around on one leg with a
fish tail growing out of the other]
Tom: Who would have guessed that Roses cause an allergic reactions in Ocompans?
~ on the bridge ~
Janeway: Is that a coffee Nebula? [All jittery in her chair]
Chakotay: No, and you might want to adjust your massager...
Janeway: What massager? [Looks around all jittery still] Can you PLEASE stop moving so much.
Chakotay: Some one please find a coffee nebula....
Janeway: STOP MOVING...THAT'S AN ORDER!
---Commercial break---
Next week on an all new DAWSON'S VOYAGER
Will Janeway Kiss Chakotay? Or Tell him about her long time affair with her Teacher?
Will B'elanna finally leave Tom for that Lovable Tattoo ridden man?
Will Neelix Realize that Leola root cannot bring Kes back from the dead? Or can it...
And will Kes wish she never EVER Kept Neelix Alive on those holographic lungs?
ON DAWSON'S VOYAGER
Tuesday at 9:00 followed by Voyager the Shining II: A made for TV Movie
---Commercial End---
Leela: I don't see a planet...
Fry: maybe we are in the wrong delta quadrant [Leela hits fry]
Bender: Well call that ship maybe they know where Planet Voyager is.
[Leela picks up the phone by the monitor and dials 1-800-collect]
[Over the speaker only:
Janeway: I'LL ONLY ACCEPT CHARGES IF SHE HAS COFFEE!
Chakotay: Captain This could be a rescue ship...
Janeway: DIDN"T I TELL YOU TO STOP MOVING SO MUCH!]
[Janeway Appears on the screen]
Janeway: Captain I U.S.S Kathryn Voyager Janeway am the of.
Harry: ARE WE THERE YET?
Seven: Not unless you want a one way trip to Disney Fist...
Harry: Where all your dreams come true...
[Seven raises a fist to hit Harry, no one stops her]
Chakotay: what she meant to say is that she is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Star Ship
Voyager...and she would be glad to help you in any way she can.
Janeway: IF YOU HAVE COFFEE!
Chakotay: she's a little...dead with out her coffee...
Harry: and we don't have any... [with a bloody lip]
Fry: We have plenty, I don't know what I would do with out my morning gallon or 2.
Janeway: TELL HIM TO STOP MOVING! [Shakily points at Chakotay]
Chakotay: Some one Please get her Caffeine...
Leela: Well any ways...do you know where planet Voyager is?
Tuvok: That is Illogical...this is a Starship maybe you mean here.
Fry: I TOLD YOU IT WAS LIKE THE TV SHOW!
Janeway: GET ME COFFEE!
---Commercial break---
HEY ALL YOU TREKKIES! ARE YOU TIRED OF NORMAL FOOD?
WELL TRY NABISCO'S NEW LINE OF TREKKY TREATS:
Neelix Noodles
Janeway Java
Chakotay Cheese
Seven of Salsa
Paris Pie
Tuvok Twinkies
B'Elanna's Bananas
NOW YOU CAN ACTUALLY EAT SLEEP AND BREATH STAR TREK!
[No food products are approved by the FDA Enjoy at your Own risk]
---Commercial End---
~ Soon after Janeway has had her normal 15 pots of coffee ~
Janeway: So What's your favorite bean flavor Fry?
Fry: I like It just black...any kind...you know it's most pure that way.
Janeway: Chakotay I'll be in my ready room with Fry...Hold my Calls [She takes Fry into
her Ready room] [Bender whistles: YOU DA MAN FRY!]
Neelix: Thanks so much for bringing this Leola, you don't know how much it's going to help
my girlfriend...
Bender: Isn't bestiality illegal...I mean Yeah Richard Gere had some fun with Gerbils but....
[PARDON ME WHILE I REWRITE THIS PART OF THE SHOW]
Bender: HA! Like Gerbil BOY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
Neelix: N...n...n...now wait just a minute she's in Sick bay if you want to see her.
Leela: I have to Check this out. You go to the docking bay with Seven and help her unload
the crates.
Bender: WHY DO YOU GET TO HAVE ALL THE FUN! [Seven walks in]
Seven: BENEDER! You are assigned to work with me...So get your ass in gear before I kick it
into gear...
Bender: I wonder if she's IBM Compatible...
Seven: MOVE IT!
~ Cargo bay 15 minutes later ~
Seven: move those crates I don't have all day
Bender: I'll show you ALL DAY [Flips a Switch on his Side from FAST to "TO DAMN SLOW]
Seven: If you don't hurry you won't get your reward...{Bender moves the Switch from "TO
DAMN SLOW" to "STOP OR YOU MIGHT HURT YOUR SELF]
---Commercial break---
X-FILES SEASON 8!
Mulder: So what do you wanna Do?
Scully: I dunno what do you want to do?
THRILLING CHASE SCENES!
Mulder: STOP YOU...Awe will Catch him at the end
Scully: Wanna get some coffee?
CHILLING LOVE SCENES
Mulder: I love the way your scientific explanations seem to prove me wrong every episode
Scully: Lets Make Love Mulder...
ALL THIS AND MORE ON SEASON 8 OF THE X-FILES!
--Commercial End---
[Shot of the door to Janeway's ready room, you can Hear Janeway and Fry]
Fry: OH GOD YES!
Janeway: PUMP IT! PUMP IT!
Fry: OH YEAH BABY!
Janeway: FASTER! FASTER!
Both: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
[Leela walks in to see both of them sitting around a coffee pot waiting for coffee to brew]
Leela: Will you people keep it down I have forms to fill out!
Janeway: Want some Coffee?
Fry: yeah we could be here for a while, with you filling out forms and all.
Leela: I HATE COFFEE!
~ Leela Wakes up in her bed ~
Leela: Good it was all a dream, and you were there, and you, and You...
Bender: Awe cram it I have a Date [Wraps his arm around Seven and they walk off into the
Cargo bay]
Leela: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-End-