Do you remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon where a big orange monster with sneakers and an attitude is after him? One of the ways that he tricks the monster is by giving him a manicure, so I thought: maybe in an alternate reality, Tooms is the monster who is chasing Bugs, and Bugs (somehow) gets him to have a manicure.

(He is sitting down across from Tooms, who is looking evil and depraved as usual and yet strangely compliant)
Bugs (in a snobby nasal accent): I meet the most innnnnteresting people in the most innnnteresting places. (he looks into Tooms' eyes, and he sees them turn yellow) That is a most innnnnteresting eye color. What are you, in pre-werewolf stage? What are you, an evacuee from The Howling? exit....

In the same story, different reality, Bugs is showing an upright Flukeman what he would be showing the monster. He looks straight at us and whispers,
"look out there...in the audience."
Flukeman sees us, and becomes terrified. "PEOPLE!" he cries, and runs off, never to be seen again for the next 20 years except in therapy.

Speaking of Tooms, this is NOT a man with whom you want to have a dancing lesson! Dipping takes on a whole new meaning...

I listen to the medicalese in the show and duck, shouting, "INCOMING!"

Mulder has these long explanations that make me want to grab the writer and say, "grow some ears and speak English, you turkey! My middle name is not Goober, but it is not Einstein, either!"