FADE IN

LIAM'S APARTMENT - DAY
The room is empty for a moment as the camera zooms in on a BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
doll and a WOODY doll sitting on a shelf.  The camera holds on them for a few
more moments waiting... waiting... waiting...

		WOODY
	What are YOU looking at!?  Think we're going to come 
	to life and prance around or something?

		BUZZ
	Yeah, Beat it!  This is Real Life!  Stuff like that 
	just doesn't happen!

The camera pans away from them and to a GREEN LANTERN Bean Bag doll.

		GREEN LANTERN
	Oh, no!  Don't look at me either!

The camera pans past Green Lantern and finds the door.  LIAM SMITH busts in
holding a BLOCKBUSTER BAG.

		LIAM
	I got it!  I got it!  I.... GOT IT!!!

Liam takes a VIDEO TAPE out of the bag and shoves it into his VCR.  He grabs
a bag of POPCORN and a SODA and leaps onto the couch.

		LIAM
	I've been waiting months for Kari Wuhrer's new direct 
	to video movie to get here and now it's here!  At long 
	last... it's here!

SHOW TV

KARI WUHRER appears on the television.

		KARI
	Thank you for renting Kari Wuhrer's Catholic High 
	School Group Shower, Mudbath, and Orgy Part VII.  I'm 
	the star, Kari Wuhrer formerly of television's Sliders.

INSERT SHOT

Liam freezes as Kari appears.

THE TV

		KARI
	I'd like to dedicate this movie to the one man in my 
	life.  One man... who I haven't seen in a couple of 
	years...  The one man... MY one man.

Kari begins to massage her chest and breathe into the camera.

		KARI
	Oh, baby... I wish you was here with me now, oh... 
	What I wouldn't do to my little Las Vegas man!

Kari begins to hyperventilate and lick her lips passionately.

		KARI
	Oh, I'm getting so... HOT!  OH!  OH!  OH!  GOD, 
	YES!  YES!!!  YES!!!

Kari begins to orgasm.

CUT TO
Liam is leaning over the coffee table wide-eyed at what he is seeing.  Woody,
Buzz, and the Green Lantern doll are sitting on the back of the couch equally
amazed.

		BUZZ
	Wow, what a slut!

		LIAM
		[shocked]
	WHA...!?

Liam quickly turns around but, as he does, the soda flies out of his hand and
lands on top of the VCR causing it to smoke and spit out sparks and flames. 
Kari Wuhrer's image distorts and fades and the audio turns into a loud
farting noise.

		LIAM
	Kari!  Nooooooooooooooooo!!!

		WOODY
	Oh, hell... I just know he's going to blame us for 
	this!

FADE OUT

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Theme Song (sung to the theme of "You Got a Friend in Me")

It's time for Liam Smith.
It's time for Liam Smith.
I thought this show should have petered out,
but a lot of our fans are quite devote.
They want to know what we're all about,
Oh, it's time of Liam Smith.
It's time for Liam Smith.
It's time for Liam Smith.

OLÉ!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE LIAM SMITH SHOW

STARRING

Dian Bachar
as
"Liam Smith"

Ed Asner
as
"Mister Hilter"

GUEST STARRING

The Stick
as
"Harry the Handyman"

and
Jason Donner
as
"Mayor Thaddeus Donner"

SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY

Tim Allen
as
the voice of
"Buzz Lightyear"

Tom Hanks
as
the voice of
"Woody"

Jonathan Taylor Thomas
as
"Thacery"

and
"Jason Biggs"
as
"Jebidiah"

AND SPECIAL GUEST STAR

Kari Wuhrer

and
Charlie O'Connell
as
"Colin"



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

FADE IN

HARRY THE HANDYMAN is hard at work fixing Liam's VCR as Liam watches in the
background clutching a pillow and rocking back and forth, muttering to
himself.

		HARRY
	Relax, guy.  I don't normally do this, but I'll have 
	your VCR working in no time.

		LIAM
	Must see... Catholic High School Group Shower, Mudbath, 
	and Orgy Part VII!

		HARRY
	Ah, the new Kari Wuhrer direct to video movie.  You 
	know, there's been something I've been meaning to ask 
	you... You know, ever since I first met you, you seem 
	to have this strange attachment to Kari Wuhrer almost 
	as if you've actually met her.  Care to fill me in on 
	that, good buddy?

		LIAM
	It was so... long... ago, Harry and it's such a long 
	story.  It all began back in...

Harry puts the cover back on the VCR.

		HARRY
	No time to listen, I'm done.

		LIAM
	Oh... Well, that didn't take long.

		HARRY
	I didn't have a recording head handy, so I used this.

Harry holds up a glowing green rock.

		HARRY
	It fell to Earth from outer space last year and the 
	strange glowing ooze I found inside seemed to make 
	the perfect VHS recording head, however, I must warn 
	you that it's unknown properties make it dangerous to...

Liam starts pushing Harry out the door.

		LIAM
	Yeah, yeah, yeah... Less talking more bouncing.  Must 
	watch Kari Wuhrer sex movie!  Okay, bye-bye now!

Liam slams the door and jumps back onto the couch.  He tries to use his
remote but it doesn't work.

		LIAM
	DAMMIT!  Well, guess I'll have to do this the old 
	fashioned way.

Liam gets up and hits the play button.

INSERT:
THE TV
The end credits are rolling.

		LIAM
	What the...!?  Huh, I guess the movie was still 
	playing while Harry was working on the VCR.  No 
	problem, I'll just rewind the movie!

Liam presses the rewind button.  Suddenly, the VCR begins to hum in a bright
green glow.

		LIAM
	...the hell!?

Liam grabs the VCR just as it is engulfed in a spectacular Quantum
Leap type special effect.  When the effect subsides, Liam and the VCR are
gone.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO
A 17th century village.  Villagers are roaming around in signature black and
white clothing.

SUBTITLE
Las Vegas, 1692

Two villagers approach each other.  They are JEBIDIAH and THACERY

		JEBIDIAH
	What ho, Thacery?

		THACERY
	Jebidiah, tis a good morrow.

		JEBIDAH
	Indeed.  Did thou catchith thine latest Vicoria's 
	Secret catalogue?  The new fashions show the whole ankle!

		THACERY
	Surly ye jest!  Thine would be obscene!

		JEBIDAH
	Indeed... But very fetching.

		THACERY
	Ah, good friend.  Methinks nothing should disrupt our 
	humble and happy lifestyle.

		JEBIDIAH
	Tis a fine wish.

Suddenly, Liam holding a VCR appears in the Quantum Leap type effect. 
Jebidiah and Thacery jump back.

		THACERY
	What in God's name?

		LIAM
	Where the hell am I?

		JEBIDIAH
	Tis a witch!  Thou usith Satan's name!

		THACERY
	Run!  Run like the wind!

Jebidiah and Thacery run like hell.

		LIAM
	Hey wait!  I just...  nevermind.  Where am I?  Is this 
	some kind of new dark ages casino?

TOWN HALL
Jebidiah and Thacery run into the hall and meet MAYOR THADDEUS DONNER (played
by Jason Donner who also plays DONNER)

		JEBIDIAH
	Mayor Donner!  Thacery and I sawith a witch in the 
	square, thereily!

		THACERY
	Tis the truth he speaks!  We must kill the cursed 
	creature...  Thereliy!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Jebidah!  Thacery!  This is 1692!  We can't just 
	runith around killing people left and right just 
	because we assumeith thou art witches!  We must put 
	thine person on trial and tryith him in a fair and 
	impartial way...
		[a beat]
	...and THEN we shall killith him...  Thereily!

Thaddeus Donner goes to a glass case containing an unlit torch and the words
"In case of Witch, break glass".  He breaks the glass and takes the torch and
lights it.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Let's smackith this witch up!

MUSIC STING
FADE OUT

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- M&Ms: They Melt in Your Mouth and Not in Your Hands.
- Lays: You Can't Eat Just One.
- Dyanetics by L. Ron Hubbard.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

FADE IN
THE COURT HOUSE
Liam is tied up and stands before the angry townsfolk who keep chanting,
"Burnith the witch!  Burnith the witch!".  At the prosecution side stands
Jebidiah and Thacery ready to convict Liam of witchery.  Mayor Thaddeus
Donner sits on the judge's stand wearing one of those powdered wig thingies. 
At the defense sits COLIN MALLORY, Liam's only hope for a fair trial.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Thacery, Jebidiah...  State your case.

		JEBIDIAH
	Thank you, your honor.  Ladies and gentlemen of thy 
	jury.  Thy man that sitith in front of thou is a witch.  
	We ask that we be allowed to burnith he... thereily!  
	We restith our case.

Jebidiah sits and the crowd goes wild.

		CROWD
	BURNITH THE WITCH!!!  BURNITH THE WITCH!!!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Good job, men.  Now - as if there is really any point - 
	Colin Mallory shall make his case for the defense.

Thaddeus Donner takes out a paper and starts to read.  The headline reads
"PRESIDENTIAL SEX SCANDAL: HE LOOKED AT HER KNEES!"  Colin stands.

		COLIN
	Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...  Lookith around 
	you... Lookith at what you're doing!  Thou art using
	circumstantial evidence to condemn a man to death!  
	You all claim to be God's servants, but you violate 
	God's law by killing!  Is this was God wants for thou 
	to do?  For goodness sake, people, it's 1692!  The days 
	of rampant witch burning should be left behind us!  
	Let us takeith our civilization into the 18th century!  
	Ladies and gentlemen, I implore thou!  Say nay to 
	burning... say yay to progress!  Thine children will 
	thankith thee!

The courtroom is silent for a moment until an old woman jumps up in the back.

		OLD WOMAN
	COLIN MALLORY'S A WITCH!  BURNITH HIM!

		CROWD
	BURNITH HIM!!!  BURNITH HIM!!!

A throng of people grab Colin and drag him outdoors.  The roar of a fire can
be heard as the crowd re-enters.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Riiiiiiight.  Well, now that THAT'S it out of the way.  
	Liam Smith, how douth thous plead to the charge of 
	witchcraft?

		LIAM
	How do I plead?  How do I plead?  How about...  DON'T 
	BURN ME AT THE STAKE!?  How's that for pleading?

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Not bad, but I could have used more tears.  You know, 
	more feeling.

		COLIN
		[from outside]
	OH, GOD!  IT BURNS, IT BURNS!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Sort of like that.

		LIAM
	I see.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Liam Smith, I hearby findith thou guilty of witchcraft!

		JEBIDIAH
	Thereily!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Yes, thereily!  Thereily I find thee guilty and thereily 
	I shall condemn thee to be burned at yonder stake until 
	thee art dead!  Thereily!

		LIAM
	But I'm not a witch!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Tis what they all sayith!

		LIAM
	Maybe that's what they all say because they're all 
	innocent!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	A likely story.  Takeith him to thy stake!

		THACERY
	Uhhh, Mayor Donner...  We only haveith one stake and 
	thy stake is currently in use... thereily.

		COLIN
	OH, GOD!  PLEASE! JUST LET ME DIE!  LET ME DIE!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Thou art right, of course.  We shall have to waitith 
	until Colin Mallory burnith out like yon candle wick!  
	It should not takith TOO long.

		JEBIDIAH
	Thereily.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Yes, thereily.

CUT TO
A 17th century jail cell.  The flames from Colin's burning are visible
through the window.

SUBTITLE
TWO DAYS LATER

		COLIN
	JESUS H. CHIRST, ALLMIGHTY!  PLEASE, SOMEONE SHOOTITH 
	ME IN THY HEAD!   I WANT TO DIE!!!  I WANT TO DIE!!!

		LIAM
	Wow, he must have ate a lot of oily food.

MISTER HILTER suddenly appears out of a doorway made of light.  He steps
through and the door shuts.

		LIAM
	Mister Hilter!  What are you doing here in 1692?

		HILTER
	Actually, I'm still in the year 2000.  Harry made a 
	holographic imager that's transmitting my image to you 
	kind of like that show, Quantum...

		LIAM
	Jeapers!  Mister Hilter! I'm stuck in 1692!  How am I 
	going to get home!?

		HILTER
	We're working on that, Liam.  As far as we can figure 
	you have do do something to change history for the better 
	before you are sent home.

		LIAM
	What am I supposed to do?

		HILTER
	Well, according to Ziggy, you...

		LIAM
	Ziggy?

		HILTER
	The funny looking quantum physisist from next door.

		LIAM
	Oh.

		HILTER
	Acording to Ziggy, there's a 78% chance you're here 
	to put an end to the witch trials before a Mister 
	Colin Mallory is burned at the stake.

Liam bites his lip and looks outside.

		COLIN
	IT BURNS!!!  IT BURNS!!!

		HILTER
		[looks outside]
	Oh.  Well... Okay.

		LIAM
	Maybe I'm just supposed to put an end to the witch 
	trials period.

		HILTER
	I doubt that.  Just do as I tell you!

Liam walks over to the toliet and starts taking a leak.

		LIAM
	You know, you think you're so smart but honestly... 
	How much time travel have YOU done in your lifetime!

		HILTER
	More than you think, Liam.  Just do as I say and you'll 
	be all right!

Jebidiah walks in and, of course, he doesn't see Mister Hilter.  Only Liam
taking a wizz.  Liam doesn't notice him.

		LIAM
	You know, this is always how it goes, isn't it?  Whenever 
	I find myself in a pickle, you just pop up and start 
	telling me what to do!  I don't know why I ever listen 
	to you and that funny-looking bald head of yours!  You 
	just keep quiet and I'll figure out a way out of this 
	myself!  Now, now... don't get all down because I yelled 
	at you.  Perk up!

		JEBIDIAH
	Ye god!  Thou art more sick than we thoughith!  Thou cur
	speakith to thine pee pee!

Jebidiah runs off.

		LIAM
	What's his problem?  Hasn't he ever had to pee before?  
	Don't they do that in 1692?

CUT TO
TOWN SQUARE
Colin's fire is still burning.

		COLIN
	What's that smell?  What's that burning pork smell?  
	Oh, yeah... THAT'S ME!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

CUT TO
THE JAIL CELL

SUBTITLE
TWO MORE DAYS LATER

		LIAM
	Wow, must be all of that greese on his face.  Very 
	flamable.

Thaddeus Donner, Jebidiah, and Thacery enter.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	All right, Liam Smith.  We have been waiting longith 
	enough!

		THACERY
	Thereily!

		LIAM
	I am not a witch!  I'm just from the future!  From the 
	year 2000!


		JEBIDIAH
	Tis a ruse!  Just like the Mcfly witch or that guy in 
	the police box we burned!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Tis the truth!  Thou art a witch, Liam Smith!

		LIAM
	But I am innocent!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	If you're so innocent, why won't thou admit that you are not?

		LIAM
	Because I'm not!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Innocent?

		LIAM	
	A witch.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	No matter!  Since we don't have a stake to burnith you on, we
	are just going to let you go!

		LIAM
	That's good!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	...if you can passith our test!

		LIAM
	Passith what test?

		THADDEUS DONNER
	The test we have called, "The Test You Must Passith If you 
	Art Not a Witch!"

		LIAM
	I see.  What's involved in this test?  Can I study for it?

		THADDEUS DONNER
	We shall dunkith thee in thy river.  If thou survivith, 
	thou art a witch and we shall burnith thee!  If thou 
	drownith, thou art innocent and thou shall be set free!

		JEBIDIAH
	Thereily!

		LIAM
	Wait a minute, if I drown then I'll still be...

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Thy trial shall beginith tomorrow morning!

Donner, Jebidiah, and Thacery leaves.

		LIAM
	Why me?  Why am I always tortured like this?

		COLIN
	AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

		LIAM
	Oh, shut up!

MUSIC STING
FADE OUT

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it Live or Memorex?
Duracel: The Coppertop.
Pringles:  One you stop, you can't stop!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

FADE IN
THE RIVER - THE NEXT DAY
Liam has been tied to a large rock and is sitting next to the river.  The
townsfolk are gathered around ready to watch the execution.  Mister Hilter is
there also in holographic form.

		LIAM
	This looks bad, Mister Hilter.

		HILTER
	Very bad, kid.  In fact, I don't see a humanly way 
	possible for you to get out of this with your life.  
	This is the end of the road for you, Liam.  But don't 
	worry... I'll be here for you.

		LIAM
	Thanks, Mister Hilter.

		HILTER
	But the second you hit that water, I'm outta here.  I 
	tried to sit through Faces of Death once and I 
	just couldn't.  I'm too squeamish.  I can't stand the 
	fact that water will be filling your lungs...

		LIAM
	Mister Hilter?

		HILTER
	...causing microscopic blood vessels to pop...

		LIAM
	Uh, Mister Hilter?

		HILTER
	...filling your weakened lungs with blood, water, and 
	puss until they burst...

		LIAM
	MISTER HILTER!?

		HILTER
	Hmm?  Oh, like I was saying, Liam, my boy.  I'll be 
	here for as long as you know.

		LIAM
	Believe it or not, that's the second nicest thing 
	anyone's ever said to me.

Thaddeus Donner walks up with Jebidiah and Thacery.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Doth thou haveith any last words, oh condemned one.

		THACERY
	Thereily?

		LIAM
	Yes, I do.

The crowd moans in disgust.

		LIAM
	I know you fear me.  To you, I'm sure that my 
	futuristic way of conversation and dress may seem 
	scary and, yes, a little sacrilegious.  But that's 
	the way things are in the 21st century.  That's what 
	the morals of this country are founded on...  Freedom!  
	The freedom to be yourself and not fear persecution!  
	The freedom to dress, talk, and act the way you want 
	without worrying about the masses.  Oh, people... the 
	future is such a great place.  Sure, we've got out 
	problems and individual strifes, but we have our freedom 
	too and we've fought wars and stuff to keep it and we 
	wouldn't trade it for...

SPLASH!  Liam and the big rack as pushed into the river.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	There!  Methinks thou would'st hath never shut up!

		LIAM
	Oh, this is JUST GREAT!

Everyone looks out onto the water and sees that Liam and the rock are only
submerged about a foot.

		JEBIDIAH
	Dear me, I could have sworn the river was deeper than 
	that!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Well, this is just peachy!  Fishith him out of there 
	and we shall try again further downstream!

		COLIN
	No!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Wha...!?

Everyone turns around and sees COLIN MALLORY stagger towards the crowd,
determination beaming from his blackened face.  He's still smoking and he's
got a little flame flickering on his shoulder.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Colin Mallory!  How did'st thou...!?

		COLIN
	Survivith thy flames?  I was innocent and so is Liam 
	Smith!  There be no such thing as witches!  Thou art 
	all mad!  I begith you, stop this now!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Well... you DID surviveith the trial by fire and thou 
	ART entitled to one wish.

		COLIN
	Then I wishith for thou to stop the killings!  Stop 
	the witch trials!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Then thy shall be done!  Let Liam Smith go!

Jebidiah and Thacery cut Liam loose from the big rock as the villagers boo
and hiss.

		LIAM
	Wow, thanks for your help, Colin.

		COLIN
	Notith a problem.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Now, all we have to do is burnith Colin and everything 
	shall be right as rain!

The townsfolk grab Colin and start back to the square with him.

		COLIN
	But!  But!  You said no more witch trails!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	And there shant be.  But your trial is already over 
	and you've been sentenced to die by burning at thy stake!

		COLIN
	But I wished...

		THADDEUS DONNER
	You wished for Liam Smith to be freed and he is.  A 
	rather stupid thing to do in my opinion.

		COLIN
	Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Everyone but Thaddeus Donner and Liam leaves.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Now, my young friend, is there anything I can doith for 
	thou?

		LIAM
	I guess I need my VCR back.  It's how I traveled back in 
	time to here in the first place.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Consider it done.  Thereily!   Tellith me, what is the 
	year 2000 like?

		LIAM
	Oh, it's not so bad.  We've got the internet, digital 
	satellite TV, DVD, 24 hour porno channels, and a 
	fascinating little device called telephone dating.  
	You know, now that I think of it... I'm best friends 
	with your great, great, great, great, great, great, 
	great, great, great, great, great, great,
	greatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandson, Jason Donner.

		THADDEUS DONNER
	That is fascinating.  Come, before thou returnith to 
	thy wonderful future, we shall have a celebration!  There 
	shall be apple-bobbing, square dancing, and fiddles.  We 
	shall party as if it is 1699!

		LIAM
	Wow, just like the Bob Dole campaign rally!

		THADDEUS DONNER
	Oh, thou knows young Bob Dole?

FADE TO:
TOWNS SQUARE - THE NEXT DAY
Colin Mallory is still screaming and burning at the stake.  Witches are
flying on broomsticks all over the town kidnapping children and terrorizing
the populous.

CITY HALL
Thaddeus Donner is shooting at the sky with his musket.

		THADDEUS DONNER
		[mocking Colin]
	There's no such thing as witches.  Nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa 
	nyaa nyaa nyaa!

Thaddeus fires into the sky and a witch falls on the ground.  He takes a
pencil and makes another mark on the window lattice.

TOWN SQUARE
Liam and the holographic Hilter are putting the finishing touches on the VCR.

		LIAM
	There!  Are you sure this is going to...

Liam ducks to avoid a low-flying witch.

		LIAM
	...to bring me back to the future?

		HILTER
	Either that or it will turn your body inside out in 
	a big heaping pile of sinew and nasty bloody stuff.

		LIAM
	A simple yes or no will do.

Liam sits the VCR aside and watches the witch-induced chaos.

		LIAM
	You know, all this time I thought that people of this 
	era were crazy to have allowed witch trials and stuff.  
	Who would have thought that they were really exterminating
	witches all along?  Do you think we've irreparably destroyed 
	the future by what we've done here today?

		HILTER
	I don't think so.  I mean, after all, I'm still here in 
	2000 and everything looks pretty much normal.  It looks 
	like all of your speeches about freedom and the future 
	amounted to dick because things still turn out the way 
	they always did.  Funny.

		LIAM
	Yeah.  Well, I guess it's time for me to come home.

Liam picks up the VCR.

		LIAM
	So long, 1692.

		TOWNSFOLK and WITCHES
	So long, Liam Smith.

		OLD WOMAN
	You twit!

		COLIN
	Auuuuuuuuuugh!!!

Liam presses the "fast foreword" button and disappears in a Quantum Leap type
effect.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:
LAS VEGAS - As before.

SUBTITLE
LAS VEGAS...  3212 AD

Liam Smith appears in the middle of a casino populated by talking apes.

		APE #1
	Oh dear, what a horrible floor show!

		APE #2
	What shall we do with the human?

		APE #3
	Let's... BURN IT!

		LIAM
	Gah!  Get your hands off of me, you DAMNED DIRTY APES!

Liam presses "rewind" and vanishes.

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:
LIAM'S APARTMENT
Liam is sitting on the couch watching Kari Wuhrer on TV.  THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT WAS HAPPENING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE.

		KARI
	I'd like to dedicate this movie to the one man in my 
	life.  One man... who I haven't seen in a couple of 
	years...  The one man... MY one man.

Kari begins to massage her chest and breathe into the camera.

		KARI
	Oh, baby... I wish you was here with me now, oh... 
	What I wouldn't do to my little Las Vegas man!

Kari begins to hyperventilate and lick her lips passionately.

		KARI
	Oh, I'm getting so... HOT!  OH!  OH!  OH!  GOD, 
	YES!  YES!!!  YES!!!

The TIME TRAVELING LIAM SMITH FROM THE FUTURE appears.  Liam Smith from the
past doesn't notice.

		FUTURE LIAM
	Wow!  I'm back where I started!

		PAST LIAM
	What the...!?

Past Liam jumps and his soda douses the VCR causing the picture to go screwy
and the sound to turn into a prolonged farting noise.

		PAST LIAM
	No!  Kari, No!
		[to Future Liam]
	Look what you had me do!

		FUTURE LIAM
	Sorry man.  Maybe you should get Harry to fix it!

FUTURE LIAM presses "fast foreword" on his VCR and disappears.  Past Liam
picks up the phone.

		PAST LIAM
	Hello, Harry?  Yeah, I just caused myself to break my 
	VCR and I told me to call you because I said you could 
	fix it and then I vanished.
		[a pause]
	You heard me!

RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:
LIAM'S APARTMENT
Liam appears and checks the calendar.  Success!

		LIAM
	Thank God!

Mister Hilter enters.

		LIAM
	Oh, Mister Hilter!  I'm back!  I'm back from 1692!

		HILTER
	Indeed you are!  Come now, there's work to be done!

		LIAM
	What work?

		HILTER
	The work, of the empire!  The work... of our beloved
	Fuer!

Hilter turns to go out the door and we see that he is wearing a NAZI SWASTIKA
on one arm.  Liam goes to the window and peers out.

INSERT SHOT
EXT. LAS VEGAS
It's a nightmare.  In this perverted alternate version of 2000, Nazi Germany
has conquered the USA.  There are Nazi Swastikas and Nazi troops everywhere.

		LIAM
	Yes, I AM going to fix this.
		[he looks at the camera]
	But first!

The walks over to the TV, hooks up the VCR, and hits play.  Kari Wuhrer's
Catholic High School Group Shower, Mudbath, and Orgy VII begins to play as
we...

FADE OUT

THE END

ROLL CREDITS