Fifty Shades of Black

http://slightlywarped.com/fifty-shades-of-black/
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2016 – “Comedy”

Turd Rating

We’re living in a world where someone decided that Fifty Shades of Gray needed to have an entire movie devoted to parody it.  Let that terrible thought sink in for a moment.

Fifty Shades of Black is less of a movie and more of a question of how many pop culture references and cultural stereotypes can be crammed into 90 minutes.  This is a woefully incompetent comedy that actually seemed less funny than the movie it was making fun of.

50shadesofbleeechHow bad is it?

Have you ever watched one of those really bad Nickelodeon or Disney Channel variety shows aimed at tweens?  Imagine a movie written by the people who write those shows only with more cussing and sex.  It’s literally, the same ham-handed formula where the jokes are obvious, predictable, and never funny.  Basically, Fifty Shades of Black‘s idea of of what makes a joke is to simply reenact something from pop culture and say, “Hey, remember that this is a thing!”

I honestly can’t understand how someone can be in the business for so many years and still be so incredibly amateur as telling jokes as Marlon Wayans is.  Hell, I would even go so far as to say that the man’s talent is actually devolving as his career moves on.  Remember when he did Requiem for a Dream and was amazing in it and we were all thinking that he was going to become a legitimate talent?  Now he’s making jokes about fucking locks with keys and about how black guys can only make money by stealing things.  He’s like an even worse version of M. Night Shamalyan.

Marlon Wayans strikes me as that annoying guy in high school who mistakes being crass, loud, and irritating for being funny and is only encouraged by the stupid people sitting around him who actually finds his idiocy funny, thus making him more crass, louder, and even more irritating.

Make no mistake, this is the type of movie made for the absolute lowest common denominator… This is a film that does not respect its audience and shows it by smacking them in the face with obviousness.  I’m not one to judge a person based on their tastes in movies, but if you actually liked Fifty Shades of Black, you’re a drag on our entire species and, for the good of the human race, you should be isolated and sterilized to keep your seed from polluting our gene pool.

 

 

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.