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Evil Kitty Conquers the Universe

http://slightlywarped.com/evil-kitty-conquers-the-universe/
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Donner brings us this upsetting image that shows that under Evil Kitty, the lion will no longer be the king of the beasts.


Evil Kitty has been drawing her plans for decades as this photographic evidence of one of her earlier prototype empires shows.


The vile one will use every horrible trick up her sleeve to win the affections of the young as this shocking picture from RailroadHatPat demonstrates.


It is terrifying things such as this that the Evil Kitty thinks of as she purrs herself to sleep every night on piles of human bones.


As ggfunk shows us, an autobiographical movie of the Evil Kitty’s rise to power is already in the works!  The screenplay was written by Stephen King who became so terrified of the life story of Evil Kitty that he threw himself in front of a minivan.


Spielberg-Addict reveals that science could be a major factor in the Evil Kitty’s plans for world domination.


Indeed, not even rural areas will be safe when project Big Cat goes into action.


furiousdude has brought to light this book scheduled to hit shelves soon after the takeover.  It’s thought that Evil Kitty will be stopping at bookstores around the world for book signings, but this is just a ploy so that she may brand the Earth’s population as her property.


Slideman has revealed the source of the Evil Kitty’s power.  As we have long suspected, it is the Dark Side of the Force.


One does not become so hideously evil without practice.  Ggfunk has discovered this picture of Evil Kitty as an intern.

As Skinless has pointed out, food supply will not be a problem for Evil Kitty as she has been known to go out for seafood when the urge arises.


In order to insure their survival after the takeover, several gaming companies have begin work on the official Evil Kitty video game as Jebediah719 demonstrates with this irrefutable evidence.


This tidbit of information comes from Franklin Rizzo who shows us that under the new regime, porno will not be allowed save for what you might find on a Mutual of Omaha episode revolving around big cats.


As Evil Kitty’s power grows with each passing moment, scientists theorize that she may evolve into Godhood as early as September 2017 where, as BacardiJim shows us, the world will be her litterbox.


JRSly shows us this shocking picture of how Evil Kitty might appear to address members of the US and the British governments that their services will no longer be required.


Once her reign is fully realized, Agent$mith523 has told us that no competitor for any piece of her globe will be tolerated.


Agnes Nutter shows us that Evil Kitty’s dark alliances know no bounds.


Once Evil Kitty is in charge, Peter Jackson will be immediately assigned to other projects or risk extermination.  Kaizer urges Mr. Jackson to cooperate.


LillyVon points out that Gregory Peck tried to warn the world for years that Evil Kitty was about to rise to power and speculates this is the reason for his mysterious death.


Agnes Nutter, at great risk to herself, snapped this picture inside of Evil Kitty’s world headquarters giving us a small peak at this monster’s brilliant schemes.


Rogerton gives us a small and terrifying glimpse of what it will be like for cities that resist Evil Kitty’s rule.


Skinless shows that even supernatural foes have much to fear as we see Evil Kitty waiting for the Blair Witch to make her answer for killing campers that are clearly Evil Kitty’s to kill.


As Donner points out in this photo suppressed by the liberal media, the true cause of the September 11th attack has yet to answer for her crimes.


Pluckylump lost his right arm and ability to reproduce to bring us this photo evidence of one of Evil Kitty’s rallies.


Evil, yes… Dead, never as Skinless points out in this shocking capture.


We spent years thinking that corruption in the oil industry was the result of business and Middle Eastern affairs, but as MMMallory has revealed, the true culprit is far more furry.


LillyVon shows us an unprecedented display of affection from Evil Kitty to one of her many companions.  If one as evil as Evil Kitty can find time to love, perhaps there is hope for the world.


Skinless brought us this picture of Evil Kitty’s involvement with Fight Club.  However, since the first rule of Flight Club is that you do not talk about Fight Club, we has no choice but to break his thumbs.


Doctor Klahn sat down to interview Evil Kitty in the fall of 2005.  When asked about what Evil Kitty would like to say to the elderly who cannot afford medication, this was Evil Kitty’s reply.


In the 1970’s, Evil Kitty tracked down and killed 11 Palestinians who had a hand in orchestrating the 1972 Munich massacre.  Not so much for her love for Israel, but more for her love of killing.


Although it was long thought to be a killing word on the planet Dune, but Nervousedge has discovered that “Evil Kitty” is merely a word that causes enemies to shit in their pants.


As you can see in this picture brought to us by Skinless, Jake Busey was not the cause of the machine’s failure in Contact.  Evil Kitty did not want Jodie Foster to make contact with aliens so that the aliens would not learn of Evil Kitty existence until it was far too late.


Thanks to the miracle of digital technology, Evil Kitty intends to cast herself into some her her favorite films and then have the negatives destroyed as Slideman shows us.


Don’t believe us?  Perhaps this still capture will change your mind!


Bfkiller shows us one of the many reasons Evil Kitty is a force to be reckoned with..


One of Evil Kitty’s many hobbies is to upstage stars in their own sequels as RailroadHatPat shows us in this rare picture from Shrek 2.  Outraged by Evil Kitty’s superior performance, Eddy Murphy and Mike Myers demanded that she be digitally altered for the final film.  In retaliation, Evil Kitty arranged for Eddie Murphy to star in The Haunted Mansion and for Mike Myers to appear with Kanye West in the Katrina relief fundraiser.


MMMallory has brought to our attention that Evil Kitty does not consider all humans her enemy and, as a matter of fact, considers Bill O’Reilly one of her closest friends.


Horakhti has shown us that Evil Kitty’s power is growing at an alarming rate.  So much so that she has deposed the monster at the top of Bald Mountain and, from not on, it shall be known as Kitty Mountain.


NervousEdge reminds us that there’s nothing Evil Kitty enjoys more than a touch of the old violence.


Why did Yoda loose to Palpatine?  Get a load of what he had to go through to get into the door!  Pointed out by jesrm.

Because of her stance of pure evil, some have accused Evil Kitty of being unholy.  Not true, says jsrem, she is wholly terrible, wholly evil, and wholly unforgiving.


As jsrem points out in this tapestry uncovered in the tomb of Vera Unkohmmon, Evil Kitty has been preparing for her role as ruler for centuries by studying the ways of the rulers who came before her.


Agent$mith523 shows us this shocking footage of Evil Kitty having fun on a typical Monday night.


This is a picture of Evil Kitty punishing Europe as submitted by Delta-Cain who lost three members of his family in the incident.


Some call it a game, to Evil Kitty it is practice.  This picture was submitted by bfkiller.  That’s him on the far right.

Like all celebrities, Evil Kitty must deal with paparazzi as this picture snapped of her in a state of undress demonstrates.  According to Miscreation, Evil Kitty tracked down the paperazzi and shot them in the kneecaps as she had promised Edward Furlong earlier that day before she killed him that she wouldn’t kill anyone.


Bmoviebuff shows us that Evil Kitty’s life is a life fit for a big screen science fiction adventure and pity the studio who does not understand that!


What Evil Kitty doesn’t tell you is that the reason the rich do not know hunger is because she intends to eat them.  Image submitted by RailroadHatPat who is currently doing a book report.


In a surprising move reported by Nervous Edge, Evil Kitty intends to downsize Satan and replace him herself as damning souls is one of her hobbies.


As BacardiJim has found out, evidence foretelling of the rise of Evil Kitty was unearthed in Iran in the 1940’s but was ignored by scientists as being too scary.


Skinless shows us that, in Evil Kitty’s mind, possession is nine-tenths of the law.


SharkSkinMan has shown us that Evil Kitty has become the new head.  As a result, the name of this robot has been changed to Voltron: Ender of the Universe.


Mooninite told us, “I don’t care what the glove said; Kitty was guilty as sin. You know it, and I know it.”  This was the last we heard of him. 


Evil Kitty will often play the dead for the possession of their souls as BacardiJim has shown us.  What is generally not known is that Evil Kitty believes that chess and checkers are the same thing.  When anyone objects, they are set ablaze by her disapproving glare.


As a Sith Lord, Evil Kitty enjoys using the force to make traffic lights stay red longer during rush hour.  This picture was sent in by Kaizer who is currently stuck in traffic.


Kaizer also shows us that Evil Kitty believes her reign will be excellent.


RailroadHatPat has pointed out this NASA animation showing how Evil Kitty might have arrived on Earth 65 billion years ago and ended the age of the dinosaurs.


lmpresley has shown us this distrubing shot of Evil Kitty practicing the dark arts at her fortress in little China.  Fortunately for lmpresley, he escaped with only minor turning into a frog.


Joined_to_Bash_Vin brings us this look at one of Evil Kitty’s war machines in action.  Everyone on the scene – including the cameraman – was killed.  Fortunately for us, Joined_to_Bash_Vin has no problem stealing valuable electronics from the dead.


Agnes Nutter brings us this look at how Evil Kitty intends to revolutionize the horror movie industry.  Her first movie – two hours her her glaring at the camera and growing – was so terrifying that Harry Knowles lost two hundred pounds simply by shitting his pants.


During her invasion of The Hundred Acre Wood, Evil Kitty was surprised by the amount of resistance that the natives met her with.  Her surprise eventually melted away into annoyance and now the tattered remains of Winnie, Tigger, and Roo make her matress soft and comfortable.  This photograph was taken by Bubble who escaped the massacre only because he was stuck in Rabbit’s door.


Agnes Nutter shows us this unsurprising evidence.  We all knew it wasn’t Tom’s kid.


Bubbles brings us this rare frame from the children’s movie, Because of Winn-Dixie.  Evil Kitty was so enraged that her scene was cut that she killed the dog, horribly scarred the girl’s face, and caused the Asian Tsunami.


Skinless brings us this look from Evil Kitty’s new feature film, Raging Pussy.


Skinless also shows us another method Evil Kitty enjoys to use to eliminate those she finds offensive to her kitty eyes.


Many years ago, Evil Kitty enjoyed a partnership with Shredder but their friendship fell on hard times when Shredder ate Evil Kitty’s yogurt out of the fridge.  As JRSly points out to us, the two haven’t spoken in years.  Oprah suggested a reunion to Evil Kitty who killed her for her impudence.  Evil Kitty now hosts the Oprah Winfrey show in an Oprah suit.


RailroadHatPat brings us this footage of Evil Kitty preparing to smash newborn puppies.


JRSly brings us this anecdote.  Once, Evil Kitty was watching boxing when she heard Mohammed Ali say that he was the greatest.  Enraged, Evil Kitty set out to prove him wrong.  As the night for the title bout drew near, Ali started faking brain damage to get out of the fight and has been faking it ever since.


Evil Kitty once conquered France and promised to let it go if they pretended to thin that Jerry Lewis is the greatest comedian on the face of the Earth.  France relented and has since become the laughing stock of the planet.  RailroadHatPat was commissioned to paint this portrait to commemorate the event and was paid in old fish heads.


Under her rule, Evil Kitty will be revising all the world’s religions to make her the central figure.  Castor_troy2k5 shows us one of the pieces about to replace The Last Supper.  In it, Evil Kitty is surrounded by her apostles:  Fluffy, Princess, Ed-a-puss, Tiger, Lion-O, and Dixie.


As these poor souls discovered too late, even the holy hand grenade was not sufficient enough to stop Evil Kitty.  Skinless hopes the dead solders have learned from their mistake.


NervousEdge brings us this incredible anecdote.  Evil Kitty met the Federation fleet at Wolf 359 and hissed at them.  The Starship captains were so petrified that they blew up their own ships rather than face Evil Kitty again.  When the Borg showed up, Evil Kitty allowed Locutus to take credit as she cannot stand to see a grown cyborg cry.


Agent$mith523 recorded this rarely seen commercial in 1984.  It was shown during the Superbowl and then never re-aired again as millions of football fans swore allegiance to the Evil Kitty before the 3rd quarter.


Fans of the movie Memento will be as surprised as Bubbles was to learn that it was Evil Kitty who actually killed Leonard’s wife.  Leonard suspected that it might have been Evil Kitty a couple of times, but dismissed the idea because, after all, how could a cat hold a chainsaw?


Bubbles also points out that Evil Kitty considered a bid to run for office but declined on account of how much power she would have to give up to be President of the United States.


Mooninite has learned that Evil Kitty was originally cast as one of the villains of Raiders of the Lost Ark but had to be replaced when she scared the ghosts back into the ark at the end of the film.


Originally, as discovered by Agent$mith523, Evil Kitty was to had made her debut in this film.  However, test audiences reacted negatively to a lead being so unspeakably evil and so she was replaced.  Evil Kitty retaliated by attacking Pearl Harbor.


This scene was pulled from the movie, The Shining, when it caused 47 heart attacks and three suicides during its premiere.  This was brought to us by Troll King who was orphaned on that terrible day.


Hoping to soften her image, Evil Kitty appeared in a children’s movie.  However, when Disney objected to a scene where Evil Kitty pulled the heart out of a helpful merekat, Evil Kitty left the project citing creative differences.  The title of the movie was changed from Evil Kitty Reigns Hell on Africa to The Lion King.  Bubbles tells us that Evil Kitty and Disney still have a good working relationship as Evil Kitty is still in possession of Michael Eisner’s soul.


This photo snapped by bmoviebuff is just one example of how good Evil Kitty is with children.  Note how happy this youngster is that Evil Kitty used his body to gestate in.


When Evil Kitty’s plans are complete, this is what New York City will look like in this artists rendering by Oddbody -[AS2]-.


Skinless shows us the underappreciated contribution that Evil Kitty made to the movie, Pulp Fiction.  Angered by Quentin Tarantino’s lack of praise, Evil Kitty broke Kill Bill in half.


Troll King tells us that George Lucas was afraid of the backlash from his original ending of The Empire Strikes Back where Darth Vader was revealed to be Evil Kitty and quickly rewrote the scene to reveal that Darth was Luke’s father instead.  Evil Kitty did not know of this change until the premiere and was so surprised by the twist that she praised George Lucas for his skill.  Later, she wrote Howard the Duck for him which became a gigantic flop and George Lucas learned a valuable lesson about Christmas. 


Bubbles elaborates on the story saying that George Lucas was so afraid of Evil Kitty that he asked the feline to play Luke’s father in Return of the Jedi.  Evil Kitty agreed however, when the unmasking scene came around, Mark Hamil was so terrified of Evil Kitty that he peed his pants and screamed for three weeks.  Evil Kitty was replaced and took her revenge on Mark Hamil by murdering his career.


Evil Kitty has been known to flock in great numbers.  Once, in the Northeastern United States, a flock of Evil Kitty descended on a small town and terrorized the population.  Alfred Hitchcock adapted the event into a movie, but replaced Evil Kitty with birds so not to make the movie too frightening.  This picture was sent in by bfkiller who is not afraid of any bird with the exception of Big Bird.

Bmoviebuff brings us this rare promo sheet for the untitled movie starring Evil Kitty and Chuck Norris.  When the script was given to director Roman Polanski, he decreed that Chuck Norris and Evil Kitty should never be allowed to fight as the resulting energy released would surely shatter the earth and explode the sun.  Evil Kitty and Chuck Norris agreed to end the movie.  Chuck Norris starred in Sidekicks instead and Evil Kitty murdered Roman Polanski’s wife for his impudence.


NervousEdge has a screen capture from the banned video game, Duke Nukem vs. Evil Kitty.  The game is banned not because of its violence nature, but because the Evil Kitty boss in unbeatable and caused over thirteen hundred gamers to commit suicide.


Mooninite tells us that Evil Kitty was once cast in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.  However, when he showed up to the set wearing a hat adorned with Whoopie Goldberg’s severed head, he was fired.  Whoopie, on the other hand, made some of her best films following this debacle. 


The Evil Kitty robot, whose picture was taken by Earendil The Mariner, can only be stopped by saying the words “Klaatu Meow Nikto.”  This will not stop it from killing you as stopping the machine simply causes it to shoot lasers from its eyes.


Ritson braved 75 degree heat to bring us this picture showing the devastation caused when Evil Kitty learned of the cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise.  To quote Evil Kitty, “I tuned in every week to see that dog explode and now it will never happen!”


Mooninite got his hands on a piece of Propaganda artwork that is to be hung in front of the United States Capitol following the takeover.


Moonite shows us that Evil Kitty is always a revolutionary, never a politician.


Paradyne tells us that Evil Kitty had a short stint as the Balrog of the Mines of Moria.  She left this position after three weeks saying that the costume of fire was too fruity.


Evil Kitty tried to wink in this shot submitted by mooninite, but the photographer took the picture too early.  Evil Kitty shot the photographer for his incompetence and then let his prisoner go… not out of the kindness of her heart, but rather so that she could follow him home and kill his family too.


As you can see here, Evil Kitty does not tolerate anyone playing in her litterbox.  This picture was snapped by JRSly a second before he lost his only son.


One might think that this picture shows Evil Kitty giving the signs of victory but Donner reveals to us that this is actually Evil Kitty commanding mass vivisections on the public.


Donner tells us that after the takeover, Evil Kitty intends to build her palace atop Mount Olympus and make the gods hit each other with clubs for her amusement.


Donner took this picture of an elusive terrorist leader called Pussama Bin Kitty.  We’re unsure what connection he has with Evil Kitty, but we are investigating.


Although she has denied it, RailroadHatPat has photographic proof that Evil Kitty was in Tiananmen Square.  Witnesses heard Evil Kitty yell out, “Run him down!  Run him down!” repeatedly.


As Donner points out, it was Evil Kitty who lead to the British Music Invasion of the US of the 1960’s.  This was not a positive thing as Evil Kitty was just warming up for a real invasion later down the road.


Mute warns us that the rumor that sunlight will destroy the Evil Kitty is false as the sun is actually afraid to shine on her.


As revealed by Agent$mith523, one of Evil Kitty’s more diabolical acts was breaking up The Beatles.


One of Evil Kitty’s first targets following her takeover will be that smug MGM lion.  Who does he think he is, anyway?  This photo was submitted by Donner who believes “ars gratia artis” actually means “obey the kitty.”


Scientists are hard at work creating Evil Kitty’s new wardrobe in time for the takeover.  Here, is a concept sketch done by Wolfgang_TEM which was rejected because it made her thighs look fat.


Wolfgang_TEM also points out one of Evil Kitty’s most devastating weapons… her cuteness.


RailroadHatPat shows us that Evil Kitty’s plan to take over the world started small enough.


Mr. Right too this picture of Evil Kitty enjoying her dinner before her Extreme Makeover.  He was shocked to later discover that the heart belonged to him.


Bmoviebuff shows us an artifact from when Evil Kitty became a spokescat for Peta.  However, her love of killing clashed with their stance against cruelty and they soon parted ways.


Bmoviebuff is one of the few people who have entered the Evil Kitty’s bed chamber and not left either dead or raped.  At least, that’s his story.


Ridley Scott was said to have been driven mad by this original concept of the creature from Alien.  RailroadHatPat tells us that the alien used in the movie is far less scary.


Mooninite brought this police lineup picture to our attention.  To this day, no one knows who Catzier Soze really is.


Many credit Evil Kitty’s The Seven Sa-meow-rai as the inspiration for Star Wars.  As Wolfgang_TEM points out, Evil Kitty finds this ridiculous as no droids appeared in her movie.


According to the actor in this scene, Evil Kitty is a biter.  So is Mooninite.


Troll King brings us this DVD cover.  Reportedly, Evil Kitty disliked Charlton Heston so much, she gave him Alzheimer’s.


Hillary Swank brought us this poster.  Evil Kitty was supposed to have co-starred with Satan, but Satan would not appear.  The scenes were done with body doubles and, in an interview with Donahue years later, Satan revealed that he feared Evil Kitty’s mob connections.


This is not a scene from American Kitty X, but rather a highly controversial Gap ad.  Certain groups protested seeing Evil Kitty in her underwear including the NAACP, The Rainbow Coalition, and the KKK.  Strangely, no one seemed offended by the Swastika.  This magazine image was submitted by Troll King who could offer no explanation why the pages were sticking together.


Troll King pointed out this movie in while Evil Kitty plays a psycho murder in the 80’s business world.  When asked about how she managed to pull the part off, Evil Kitty revealed that she thought they were making a documentary.


Evil Kitty ordered a caricature of herself from Six Flags and the result fueled her need for world domination.  The doomed residents of the Earth would like to thank RailroadHatPat for this drawing.


LillyVon has learned that after the takeover only one show will be allowed on Broadway.


Unfortunately for Troll King, Evil Kitty is always angry.


Skinless points out that, as supreme deity, Evil Kitty will send people on impossible and pointless quests.  The quests will include, “Find the Holy Pail”, “Clean out my litterbox”, and “Pull my finger.”


Troll King has found this disturbingly prophetic video.


RailroadHatPat has uncovered this piece of artwork that will hang in the Smithsonian after Evil Kitty is in charge.


As this mural demonstrates, not even the classics are immune to Evil Kitty’s influence.  Neither is Agnes Nutter.


Once Evil Kitty is in charge, RailroadHatPat shows us one policy that will change.


One of Evil Kitty’s lesser known roles, she left the project soon after filming began due to the fact that it really didn’t further her plans for world dominations.  Sumitted by Bubbles.


Yeah, we all suspected it.  Thanks anyway, mooninite.


Delta-Cain gives us a sneak peak into what this foul creature does for fun.


As the time of her takeover draws near, cats of the world begin to show odd behavior.  RailroadHatPat is defined by odd behavior.


As Hillary Swank shows us, Evil Kitty almost took over the world once, but that damned Torgo screwed it up.


ShiftyJedi has figured it out.  For the love of God, we must keep this equation from Evil Kitty’s grasp!


Finally, Delta-Cain gives us this terrifying image of Evil Kitty terrorizing motorists in 2002.


Check this sexy thing out that weaver gave to us.  Perhaps it’s a post-takeover flag or just the design of a nifty T-Shirt?  Only Evil Kitty knows for sure.


In Peter Jackson’s original draft of The Lord of the Rings, the eye of Sauron was to have belonged to Evil Kitty.  Upon picturing this in his head, Peter Jackson shit his pants and lost 130 pounds.


Pieatorium brings us this early poster that shows Evil Kitty in the place of Aslan the Lion.  When Evil Kitty left the project for killing two of the child stars, she was replaced by the director’s second choice.


Weaver went to the edge of the final frontier to show us what really killed Kirk.


Pieatorium barely escaped the Matrix with this diabolical agent on the prowl.

This movie poster, appropriated by bmoviebuff, shows an early concept for the movie Eight Below.  Evil Kitty was let go by Disney because it was thought that the scene where she eviscerates the dogs with an icicle would have put the movie’s G rating in jeopardy.

This picture, snapped by bmoviebuff before he was shot in the face, shows Evil Kitty and her massing army.  At the time this picture was taken, Evil Kitty grew suspicious of a traitor in her ranks.

Even though staring at her terrifying visage for too long has been proven to drive people mad, Mr. Right points out that Evil Kitty has become quite popular in the art world… mainly because artists want an art world once the takeover is complete.

While one may think that Evil Kitty’s intentions are purely evil, some good does occasionally come of it as we see here moments before she tears Martin Lawrence’ spine out for making Big Momma’s House 2.  Photo by Wolfgang.

jmcshane shows us one of Evil Kitty’s hobbies.   No, not street racing… homeless hunting.

Evil Kitty won 32 Oscars for this movie about how much she hates Dogs.  This poster was donated by Old Yeller who is also hated by Evil Kitty.

Redant happened upon this glimpse into Evil Kitty’s ultimate plan.  For that, his family was killed, grilled, and fed to him.

Jmcshane tells us that Darth Kitty was a concept that George Lucas came up with in the early days of Star Wars, however he dropped this idea when he realized that no one would buy the idea of Darth Kitty turning good at the end. 

Wolfgang has told us that one of the signs you may be in Evil Kitty’s control is a sense of deja vu.  By the time you realize this, however, it is too late.

Old Yeller tells us that although Evil Kitty may appear to be on drugs sometimes, she just thinks on a completely different and alien level than the rest of us.

Recently, Evil Kitty destroyed several British chicks who dares to explore a cave that Evil Kitty decided was her own.  Blevo informed us that one of them made it out alive despite what the American version of the story said.

Once, while discussing religion with Sir Dickwin of Cockmore, Evil Kitty continually referred to Satan as, “That pussy.”

RailroadHatPat shows us that one of Evil Kitty’s aspirations is to sit in judgment over all dogs, both good and bad, and crush their souls. 

Mr. Right gathered this photographic evidence before being stampeded by Tom Hanks that the real DaVinci Code was actually “So Dark the Soul of Evil Kitty.”

Miscreation tells us of a movie in the works about Evil Kitty in which Evil Kitty plays herself and the story is so convoluted and confusing that no one knows what is going on and everyone in the audience commits suicide… just as Evil Kitty wants.

Sir Dickwin of Cockmore has unearthed this disturbing evidence that Evil Kitty is a vampire.  Not that she loves the taste of blood, just biting people.

As moonite proves with this photographic evidence, it was actually Evil Kitty who drove drunk in Malibu and spouted Anti-Semitic statements.  The cops blamed Mel Gibson after Evil Kitty threatened to soddomize them.  It’s unclear how this would have happened since Evil Kitty is female, but her threat proved effective none the less.

As you can see by this screen grab from some video surveillance taken by Wolfgang, Evil Kitty cannot be contained or controlled.  Don’t even try.

Once Evil Kitty cloned herself and called the clone Mini-Evil Kitty.  The clone, although one-eigth her size and thusly one-eighth as evil, was still extremely evil and, as jmcshane has told us, had to be disposed of.  This clone is currently the leader of Hezbolla.

Sharp-eyed motorists will notice that Evil Kitty has started to put up billboards announcing her upcoming takeover of civilization.  as Oddbody has told us, they are supposed to cause the public great fear, but come off as racist.  Evil Kitty had the advertising firm destroyed shortly after.

What sort of evil plans does Evil Kitty have for the Earth?  Miscreation was told only what she plans to do with Rhode Island and has spent the last three weeks stabbing himself in the ear with knitting needles.

Weaver saw this album in the music store the other day and purchased it.  Although he called the music pleasant, he was struck by an odd urge to buy catnip and tuna and leave it in a brown paper bag on a bus stop bench.  Our conclusion: subliminal mind control!

Kev’s Year tells us of a frightening incident where a scientist tried to bring Evil Kitty back from extinction.  Of course, no one bothered to tell him that Evil Kitty wasn’t extinct and so he and his guests in Evil Kitty Park were all destroyed by thirty tons of rampaging pussy.

As a hobby, Evil Kitty likes to pose as a Mexican wrestler.  Had it not been for a drunken night spent in Juarez with prostitutes of various ages and genders, Oddbody might not have noticed for us.

ggfunk shows us that it was indeed the Evil Kitty who was responsible for returning Hal Jordan to the DC Universe.  According to Evil Kitty, “I like boring white characters.”

One of the main nemesis’s in the Star Trek universe is the evil Gul DuCat.  Weaver tells us that Evil Kitty was his inspiration, but we’re having trouble seeing a resemblance.

Wolfgang shows us that Evil Kitty as originally going to be one of the main characters in Ice Age, but the temptation to eat that fucking possum’s head was just too great.

Evil Kitty was originally cast in the movie High Tension, but was fired when it was painfully obvious that she was the killer the whole time.  Blevo tells us that her retaliation was cut short in that she hissed at France once and it instantly surrendered.

Blevo, while serving a tour overseas as a fry cook, brought back these playing cards that show the true leader of the Iraqi regime.

Anton73 shows us that Evil Kitty’s popularity is exploding as seen here in the audience of this Clay Aiken concert.

Jmcshane tells us that Evil Kitty is putting a lot of effort into learning what arouses a normal human for if she controls that, she controls humanity.

This rare poster, donated by Pieatorium, details Evil Kitty’s one and only attempt at a Broadway show.  Reportedly, the show was so terrifying that audience members had to be committed and then put down due to the traumatic experience.  Scripts for this musical were dropped on Afghanistan during the war on terror.

Mooninite tells us that there are few places that make Evil Kitty purr as much as a concentration camp.

According to Pieatorium, Evil Kitty was The Green Goblin’s sidekick until she heard that The Green Goblin called her a sidekick.  She then whispered something into The Green Goblin’s ear that made him cry uncontrollably for three days and nights.

BartonFink, unfortunate enough to have seen an early cut of the movie, Poseidon, tells us that Kurt Russell’s death was originally more horrifying.  It was changed when the filmmakers realized that Evil Kitty’s sudden appearance on the ship made no sense.

Although it might be construed as unseemly, Evil Kitty is not above campaigning to be a legitimate ruler.

After taking a tumble off of a ladder, jmcshane’s hidden camera shows us that there are no accidents… only Evil Kitty’s doings.

Wolfgang shows us that Evil Kitty was the original Monty Python and the Holy Grail‘s Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film but had to be sacked because her appearance at the beginning caused people to flee the theater in terror.

Wolfgang tells us that once Evil Kitty has ruled the Earth for a thousand years, she will drink the blood of a thousand virgins and evolve into a higher being where she will go on and consume the entire universe.

Although futile, Oddbody has infomed us that a resistance to Evil Kitty has formed and might just have the strength and resolve to last and fight as long as it takes me to finish this sentence.

Oops.  I was wrong.

Evil Kitty was the orginal first choice to play Doctor Lecter, but when Jodi Foster kept breaking down and crying during takes, she was replaced by Anthony Hopkins.  BadLieutenant tells us that Evil Kitty retaliated by stealing Jodi Foster’s heterosexuality.

It is not only Evil Kitty’s intention to dominate all life on Earth, but also all sports except for ice hockey which she will leave to the white man.  This picture snapped by Wolfgang.

Blevo points out an odd government advisor named Doctor Strangepussy who has backed every demand Evil Kitty has made to Washington.  Could this advisor be allied with Evil Kitty?  Only time will tell.

The “S’ actually stands for “sinister.”

Oddbody brought to us this terrifying picture of Evil Kitty on a swing.  What happened to the little girl that was on that swing is too horrible to think about.

The public was told that an Earthquake was the cause of the Asian tsunami, but Oddbody knows better.

Furiousdude hs told us that a horrible computer virus is circulating on the internet that, when infecting your computer, will turn your PC into a ticking time bomb.  Literally!

Oddbody brings us this terrifying footage of Evil Kitty that speaks for itself.

For Donner’s 5th anniversary at Rotten Tomatoes, he kittized the avatars of the other posters.   This pleased Evil Kitty and she demanded that they be featured here.

Blevo provides us with this little known fact that Evil Kitty was an original member of South Park’s Christmas Critters, but even the Critters found her jokes about devouring newborns straight from their mother’s birth canal in poor taste… moreso when they realized she wasn’t joking and did it every Saturday night.

Der Evil Dr. Boll ponders the question of where the world would be without Evil Kitty’s infamous 1969 Christmas Album.  Track three is especially memorable because it contains no music; just the sounds of Evil Kitty torturing an elf.

bmoviebuff gives us this rare still from the early shoots of Ron Howard’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Evil Kitty as The Grinch.  Howard had to fire Evil Kitty from the movie when not only did she steal Christmas, but also Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentine’s Day, and April 31st.  With some coaxing, Evil Kitty returned the holidays, but kept one to herself just to screw with people.

Mazaru666 shows us that Evil Kitty enjoyed a brief stint as Hobbes in the beloved comic book strip originally titled Kevin and Evil Kitty.  However, it was a short success when Evil Kitty slaughtered Kevin with a spork when Kevin insisted that Evil Kitty was a figment of his imagination.  Who’s a figment now, Kevin?

One Christmas, Evil Kitty misunderstood the meaning of the words “Christmas sleigh” and was tricked into pulling children behind her.  Thankfully, her evil rectal gasses gave all of the children AIDs for Christmas.

bmoviebuff brings us this picture of…

Actually, I don’t want to talk about it.

MikeofAllTrades brings us the shocking end of The Christmas Shoes video in which Evil Kitty personally sends mommy to meet Jesus.  Unfortunately, after Evil Kitty was done, mommy did not look beautiful.

While searching for LARP battles for pointers, bmoviebuff came across this shocking video on youtube.  When reached for comment, Donner1701 said, “I don’t understand!  My Christmas tree isn’t on–  OH MY GOD!!!”

From hermanblume — we’ve all seen the “birth of a super villain” picture, but what was the actual process?  A two hour lesson from Evil Kitty!

Cunning Linguist shows us that porn will have a new meaning after the takeover, and will be a lot more boring.

The Rereturn shows us… Birth of a Super Vi– Wait a minute…

The rereturn also shows us this photoshopped image.  How do I know it’s photoshopped?  I can tell by the pixels and I’ve seen quite a few shops in my day.  Also, Evil Kitty runs from nothing.

The 29th Cleric shows us the little known cousin of Evil Kitty, Kitty Peppers!

Evil Kitty does not approve of Donner’s white walls as provided to us by this photographic evidence gathered by Insipid Commentary.  It was Evil Kitty’s wish that the walls be painted in the blood of virgins.

dinosss-go-rarr brings us this rare image of Evil Kitty’s great grandmother, Martha Kitty who was burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft in 1865, 1867, and 1978.

Evil Kitty was not one to turn a blind eye to the conflicts of man as war is one of her most favorite pastimes.  As a matter of fact, and suggested by MaxRenn, Evil Kitty was often put in charge of American POWs only allowing John McCain to escape her sadistic charms.

Cunning Linguist tells us that before Mike Myers was cast in The Cat in the Hat, the movie was filmed in its entirety with Evil Kitty in the lead resulting in an NC-17 bloodbath in which the children were cut up into tiny pieces and fed to the fish.  When Mike Myers replaced her, Evil Kitty sought revenge by writing The Love Guru and destroying his career.

According to the rereturn, Evil Kitty was recently considered for The Thundercats movie… at least until she set all of the Evil Mutants on fire simply by looking at them.  Mumm Ra is still in hiding.

An avid sports enthusiast, Evil Kitty enjoyed a brief stint as the running back for Kentucky.  This career change ended when Evil Kitty discovered that there was actually very little chicken in Kentucky and cursed it with rickets.

Using a full spectrum camera, Cammy captured these images of Evil Kitty’s conscience. 

The rereturn shows us the early draft for the film which eventually became Crank.  In the original, Evil Kitty was a displeased feline who had to be given catnip every five minutes or she would become angry.  After two minutes of shooting the movie, 476 people were dead.

Cammy has a theory about what the hell is wrong with Joachim Phoenix.

Dinosss-go-rarr shows us the Terminator movie that could have been.  The problem with this version was that Evil Kitty kept succeeding in killing John Conner regardless of what the script said.  After the funerals of both Edward Furlong and Nick Stahl, Christian Bale would only take the role if Evil Kitty was replaced with a three story metal robot with claws and machine guns.  You know, something safer.

Skuba Steevo shows us why you shouldn’t look into the eyes of Evil Kitty.

Mike B. shows us a disturbing piece of history.  The disturbing part is that this picture was taken just this morning outside of Panda Express!

Evil Kitty was fired from this movie after getting Robert Downey Jr. hooked on catnip.  As Rumpled 4 Skin tells us, Evil Kitty was so upset over loosing yet another film role, she crashed two towers into some airplanes, a feat that has gone unnoticed and misunderstood since 2001.

Cunning Linguist shows us the sad final addition of Fritz the Cat which featured eight pages of Fritz screaming over a severed hand.

In Crank: High Voltage, Chav Chelios needs something with a little more power to keep alive; a raw unsurging supply of pure hate.  Unfortunately, one hour after the operation, Evil Kitty exploded from his chest, disrupting an entire dace recital and killing fifty.

Wingman W. shows us something shocking.  But what does Evil Kitty think about when googling herself?  What else?  Burning things!

According to Death Proof, the original version of C.H.U.D. is banned in every country on Earth except for Libya where it is used to execute the most vile of prisoners by causing their eyes to explode from sheer terror.

Unknowingly doing some good in her life, Evil Kitty stopped the tank advance in Tiananmen Square by taking a nap in the road.  According to Death Proof, she was shot at but it only made her mad.

Evil Kitty is never one to pass up a free meal.  Death Proof is totally going to hell over this.

Dinosss-go-rarr demonstrates how the Jedi could have survived the purge which is really silly since you consider Evil Kitty would not only be a Sith Lord, but actually THE Sith Lord.

Death Proof shows us that Evil Kitty is not racist, she hates everyone equally.

29thcleric shows us this rare campaign poster.  Evil Kitty only ran in one state: South Nevada.  She lost… which is why there is no South Nevada anymore.

Originally, Stephen Spielberg’s masterpiece was about a cat lurking in the ocean.  When shown to a test audience, it scared them so badly that they not only refused to enter the water again, but also refused to get anywhere near water, including the bath and shower.  We now know these people as The French.  Evidence provided by Death Proof.

When Evil Kitty was cast as Robocop, not only did she eliminate all crime, but also the Tasmanian Tiger.  Evidence Provided by Death Proof.

According to Death Proof, Evil Kitty was originally signed on to produce the soundtrack to Into the Wild.  The problem was, once it was played, the sinister songs prompted Christopher McCandles to eat poison berries and die which, while tragic, did lead to a more interesting movie.

Death Proof shows us this picture from Evil Kitty’s brief period as a bounty hunter.  Her response of “kiss my ass” to the command “no disintegrations” led to her disbarment.

Evil Kitty Carlisle, get it?  Evidence provided by Cunning Linguist.

Death Proof shows us this shocking ending to Planet of the Kitties, an ultra-violent science fiction film which gave Charleton Heston Alzheimer’s.

There was a point during the Battle of Hoth when the Rebels knew that the battle was lost.  Death Proof shows us this moment.

According to Death Proof, Evil Kitty’s face was to have graced Pee Wee’s bicycle.  Unfortunately, the visage was so terrifying, Pee Wee refused to go looking for the bike once it was stolen.

Cunning Linguist tells us that Evil Kitty was the original Octopussy.  It was all fun and games until she raped Sean Connery.

Death Proof shows us Evil Kitty during her brief employ at Dreamworks Animation.

There’s a play on words here, I know it.  Evidence by Cunning Linguist.

Evil Kitty was fired from this movie after getting Robert Downey Jr. hooked on catnip.  As Rumpled 4 Skin tells us, Evil Kitty was so upset over loosing yet another film role, she crashed two towers into some airplanes, a feat that has gone unnoticed and misunderstood since 2001.

By Death Proof.  Evil Kitty watches a snuff film.

Death Proof shows us this shocking picture taken outside of the Museum of Tolerance.

In the first draft of Howard the Duck, Howard the Kitty came to Earth and created mayhem.  When shown to an audience, they clawed their eyes out and beat each other with their severed arms.  The movie was changed from Kitty to Duck and Evil Kitty sought revenge by introducing Tim Robbins to Susan Sarandon.  Evidence gathered by Death Proof.

Huntress Moon shows us this original concept for Catwoman.  It was rejected because the director wanted an opponent that Batman might believably defeat.

Evil Kitty appeared an an extra in Gladiator until it was realized that the entire fight scene lasted .002 seconds.  Russell Crowe’s stunt double was later found in 2001, 2005, and 2008.

Davmaster brings us this winner of 27 Academy Awards, hence banned in the USA due to extreme anti-humanism.

Huntress Moon shows us this rare still from Watchkitties, an independent project famous for showing Evil Kitty’s giant glowing Russian Blue penis.

Jimmy Stewarts Ghost shows us… Oh, god!  NEXT!

Frodo is fucked.  Evidence by Robbie H.

By the rereturn; You would think that this was a deleted still from Jurassic Park, but it is actually Evil Kitty preparing to eliminate Newman for making Jerry’s life so difficult.

Mike B. shows us this rare pre-release poster for Independence Day when the entire alien force was represented by Evil Kitty.  The rough cut of the movie was so brutal and terrifying, Bill Clinton ordered Outer Space nuked.

Cammy tells us more of the Joachim Phoenix situation.  Perhaps this is really Evil Kitty’s goal?

The early drafts of what was to become 30 Days of Night were rejected because no one believed that anyone would survive one night of Evil Kitty, much less 30.

Juan Sanchez shows us People Cat, the movie that would eventually become Cat People.  Evil Kitty refused to continue shooting the movie protesting the fact that “people” got first billing.

According to Luke R., in the days of olde, knights would venture off to fight Evil Kitty.  Of course, none of them would return from the battle except those who excelled in tummy scratching.

During its 124 seasons on Broadway, Evil Cats earned more money that the gross domestic product of China and India combined.  Death Proof believes that it was its sudden closure that resulted in the 2008 economic crisis.

More evidence from Death Proof.  Evil Kitty’s line of Hello Evil Kitty wear proved very popular in Germany where the mere sight of it caused the witness to loose all materials in their bowels.  It can currently be see at www.derevilkittymakenmeshizenheilhitler.com.

Gary Busey was once a mathematical genius and promising researcher until going as Evil Kitty one Halloween.  Upon looking at himself in the mirror, his psyche crumbled and he became the man we all know today… fucking crazy.  Evidence by Death Proof.

Death Proof presents: the death of Godzilla.

By Death Proof.  Evil Kitty is the reason why John’s last name is Cryer.

According to Death Proof, Evil Kitty was to play the Jim Carrey role in Me, Myself, and Irene until it was discovered that Evil Kitty had no good personality – just a slightly less evil one.

Skuba Steevo shows us that the biggest danger to working high steel was not gravity at all.

Cinematic Bliss shows us the original ending of The Shining, ten seconds of footage so terrifying that those who watch it go mad with madness.

Mike B. shows us this poster for a movie about a man afraid of cats… otherwise known as a very, very smart man.

Davmaster brings us the coming sequel, The Final Tale of Despereaux which has already won next years Academy Award for Best Slow Motion Chewing of a Rodent.

How does Evil Kitty deal with unproductive workers in the office?  Phell brings us the horrifying answer.

According to Huntress Moon, Evil Kitty was originally supposed to become the new Doctor Mew, but when she learned of the existence of K-9, she pulled out of the project and went on to play every monster on Primeval.

This cute picture of a kittypillar shows Evil Kitty’s larval stage.  Dinosss-go-rarr tells us that once the kittypillar has entered your ear canal, do not panic.  Simply have your affairs in order and your will written.  Also, put down plastic when when your head pops like a zit and the full grown evil kitty emerges.

Death Proof tells us that Underworld: Rise of the Kitty is currently being filmed.  In it, the vampires breed a perfect enemy against the werewolves, but what they don’t realize is that Evil Kitty’s real prey has always been hobbits.

Death Proof shows us India’s latest foray into population control.

Evil Kitty was supposed to have played the killer in Friday the 13th, but everyone knows that she only comes out on Caturday.  Evidence by Death Proof.

Another scene from Caturday the 13th by Death Proof.

Evil Kitty used to be a stand-in for Garfield, but personal problems led to a separation… of Jon’s head from his body.  Evidence by bmoviebuff.

Skuba Steevo shows us this delightful picture of Evil Kitty meeting a Kindergarden teacher.

Pimp mah Kitty by Death Proof.

You don’t cut in on Evil Kitty’s turf, dancing cat!  There’s only room for one meme on these pages!  Photo by Death Proof.

In the original version of Death Proof, Evil Kitty didn’t need to Death Proof the car because she is immortal.  Heaven won’t take her and Hell’s afraid she’ll take over.  Evidence by Death Proof.

Death Proof shows us, yes… it can be worse than Evil Kitty.  Thank goodness, Jesus Christ came down and killed it with fire.

Jimmy Stewart’s Ghost shows us one of Evil Kitty’s favorite pasttimes… killing surfers.

Pussama Bin Kitty is currently wanted by the FBI, but they don’t have the guts to say so.  Evidence by jimmy stewart’s ghost.

By jimmy stewart’s ghost.  Man, I hate it when young celebrities get wasted and flash their pussies.

By dinosss-go-rarr.  I don’t get it.  Where’s the photoshop?

Mike B brings us…  Brings us…

Yes, master.  I shall bring you more tuna immediatley.

bmoviebuff brings us an amazing display of intimidation.  No one out-acts’s Alec Baldwin, buddy… or do they?

Robbie H. shows us that Evil Kitty knows what the bitches need.

Davmaster shows us the unseen audition tape that Evil Kitty made for The Dark Knight, a performance so terrifying that Heath Ledger copied it syllable for syllable and then died from sheer awesomeness.

Mike B. shows us why you should never get between a kitty and her Fancy Feast.

We don’t serve your kind here.  Those dogs, take them outside… and KILL THEM!  Evidence by Death Proof.

I advise a new strategy: let the kitty win.  Evidence by Death Proof.

Mike B. shows us the forgotten Watchkitties character: Doctor ManCattan!

Death Proof brings us this shocking tale: Once employed at a trandy club, Evil Kitty scratched records so ferociously that it caused a massive fire that she blamed on Great White.  Sadly, she also ended up killing the last fans of that band in the fire.

A favorite subject of Andy Warhol, Evil Kitty was featured in several of his paintings that, like the sun, would cause you to go blind if you looked directly at the.  Evidence by Death Proof.

National Geographic caught this picture which was so horrifying that they had to photoshop an Afghan girl around those cold eyes.  Evidence by skuba steevo.

Another scene from Watchkitties… the final scene, actually.  By Mike B.

Peter Criss’ early cat makeup was so scary that Gene Simmon’s tongue actually quit the band.  True story!  By Death Proof.

A typical Monday for Evil Kitty.  By Death Proof.

“I am your father!”
“No, it’s not true!”
“Search your feelings!”
“NOOOOOO!  WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE!”

 Evidence by Death Proof.

This special edition of Raiders of the Lost Ark is so evil and horrifying that it is currently locked in a vault and will some day be used against our enemies as a doomsday weapon. 

By shiftyjedi.  A misnomer: it’s actually just “Miss Evil Kitty” as Evil Kitty has not found a husband that can survive her.

Evil Kitty was the original Darth Vader, explains Robbie H..  Unfortunately, she had to be fired because not only did she destroy the Rebel Alliance three minutes into the movie, but also the Ewoks, Hutts, Klingons, Cylons, and Care Bears.

Mike B. shows us this lineup.  Futile since you never actually see Evil Kitty coming and, if you do, it’s already too late.

Robbie H.  : Frodo is fucked.

Mike B. shows viewers a sign outside of Donner’s house.  Mike escaped the area with a severed leg and shattered left testicle.

TrashedHappyFeet explains that Evil Kitty was originally in the movie The Life Aquatic but left when the producers would not meet her demands and call it, “Stupid Shit You’ll Watch Because Bill Murray is In It.

THIS… IS… KITTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
By Skuba Steevo

Death Proof presents a rare vinyl from Evil Kitty’s debut album, a compilation of music deems so morally depraved that the pope shot himself and blamed someone else.

Death Proof presents: What made Evil Kitty evil?

By Huntress Moon.

Death Proof shows us how Evil Kitty helped with Tibetan protests.

Quickly: TO THE CAT-CAVE!  Photo by Mike B.

From Mike B.  Indiana Jones is fucked.

From Mike B.  Apocalypse Cat! was a movie that lasted 1.2 minutes and featured Vietnam surrendering unconditionally in soiled pants.

By Death Proof.

Cunning Linguist presents the Real American Idol. 

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.