EEL IN THE BUTT

Every now and then a story crosses my desk and I wonder to myself, "Is this really the type of story I want to repeat?"  This is one of those stories!  Aren't you lucky?

A man in China's southeastern Guangdong province admitted himself to the hospital after sticking a twenty inch live eel up his ass.  Yes, you read that correctly.  The man, who has understandably gone unidentified, apparently saw it done in a porn movie and figured he would try it himself.  As I'm sure that any of you who have tried copying anything from a porn movie knows, this did not go well.  The eel, frantically trying to find a way out of the man's pooter, chewed its way through his colon and slithered into his body cavity.  Naturally, this caused the man to suffer a large amount of pain not only from the razored teeth of the frightened and smelly fish, but also from the overnight emergency surgery that was performed on him to extract the invasive species which was recovered alive, but died after being removed.

The man could face animal cruelty charges.

Amazingly, this is not the first incident of an eel in the ass.  In 2012, a New Zeeland man had to have an eel removed from his ass and, tragically, in 2010, a man in China died after his friends inserted an eel into his butt...

...as a joke!

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