EXTRACTO DE RANA

Forget coffee!  If you need a real eye-opener in the morning, all you have to do is head to Peru and drink a drink that not only wakes you up, but also serves as a potent aphrodisiac due to its second most notable ingredient, a plant root called the Maca.  Not only does it give you a raging boner, but it is also said to cure bronchitis, asthma, and sluggishness.  It's called Extracto de Rana and it's all the rage in Lima where the demand is high and the shops are bustling!

If you speak Spanish, you already know what's coming...

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Yes, it's frog juice.  No, the name isn't some clever play on words... it's juice made out of frogs.  Seriously.

Once you have a seat at one of the many booths selling this amphibious aphrodisiac, you're asked to pick out the frog you want so, it's kind of like a fancy restaurant and lobster... only disgusting.

After you mark one of these poor and defenseless froggies for death (again, just like a fancy restaurant, only sad) the kind-faced attendant beats the frogs head against the counter sending it to frog Valhalla.  She strips the frog of its skin and then fills a blender with hot white bean broth, some honey, raw aloe vera and a generous portion of maca to make your dick hard.  Finally, as the blender chops the components of the drink into drinkable form, the frog is added with a satisfying crunch.

Mmmm... sexy.

Peruvians are apparently nuts about the stuff and many shopkeepers claim that extracto de rana has replaced morning and afternoon coffee for many people.

 


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