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Cinderella

http://slightlywarped.com/cinderella-movie-review/

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I don’t understand why this movie exists. Sure, I understand the economics of it and everything – it’s here to make money, but I don’t understand the art of it. Why was it made?

I’m not being a snob here. Even though I hated them, I understand the artistic reasoning behind making movies like Snow White and the Huntsman or Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland… despite the fact that they were bug smelly turds, I understand and, in some ways, respect the alternative visions of classic characters.

With Cinderella, there is no alternative vision. If you’ve seen the animated movie, you’ve seen this one so, basically, it’s a remake of a classic that changes next to nothing.

I don’t understand why it happened. It’s like that shot by shot remake of Psycho they made a few years back that had no reason to exist either.

Cinderella is not exciting, it’s not surprising, and it offers nothing new. As a matter of fact, the movie, even with its budget and special effects, feels laughably dated already. I’m not saying that we should have had Cinderella in a suit of armor or anything, but they could have at least taken a page from Ever After or something and updated the character making her a less passive flower.

Then again, maybe I should be applauding Cinderella for retaining the classic story instead of doing something revisionist with it. In a way, it bucks a trend that, in of itself, has become annoying in its own way.

Still, I didn’t like it and I have to admit it’s for a reason that I can’t help and the movie can’t help. I’m just not in the target audience. I took my kids to see it and found myself uninterested and unengaged. It’s not the movie’s fault… it’s my fault for being almost 40.

But, then again… the best family movies are the movies that bring something to the table for the whole family and not just the little ones. This is why The Smurfs movies were so bad because they went for the lowest common denominator like jingling keys in front of a baby.

I’m not saying that Cinderella is that bad and, yes, it certainly has more sophistication than The Smurfs did, but I still can’t help but think that this movie was never made for me. It’s a selfish notion, but critics are nothing if not self-important.

To be honest, I’m left with a conundrum here. Cinderella is a well made movie in a technical sense, its beautiful to look at in others and it had the stones to retain its classic story without updating in the name of overzealous feminism. At the same time, it was about as interesting to me as folding laundry. I’ve seen the story before and, in some ways, I guess it’s more acceptable to see a dated animated movie than a dated live-action movie.

I never really cared for the animated movie that much anyway.

So, I didn’t like it. I wasn’t in the audience for it, I understand that and admit it… but I still didn’t like it. Take that how you will.

What did you think?

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.