Bad Jokes So Bad That They’re Good But Still Bad

http://slightlywarped.com/bad-jokes-so-bad-that-theyre-good-but-still-bad/

A guy goes to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu.

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Where did Noah keep the bees?

In the ark hives!

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I bought my friend an elephant for her room.

She said thank you.

I said, “Don’t mention it!”

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My friend was cold, so I told her to stand in the corner.

Why?

Because it’s 90 degrees.

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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye, matey!

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What’s the tallest building in every town?

The library because it has the most stories.

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What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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How does a man feel when he comes home to find all of his lamps missing?

Delighted.

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What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

Bikings.

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Which United States president was the least guilty?

Lincoln.

Because he was in a cent.

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Where does a king keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

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What’s blue and doesn’t weigh much?

Light blue.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

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A group of monks was arrested for selling flowers outside of the Playboy mansion without a license.

Apparently only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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I had a friend who was a baker. His bakery tragically burned down.

Now his business is toast.

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A magician is walking down the street.

He then turns into a grocery store.

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Did you guys hear about the gay midget?

He came out of the cupboard.

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An Asian man named Hu married a Hawaiian woman named Leahy (lay-hee). But she didn’t just take his last name. She hyphenated it. They were big Star Wars buffs, so they decided to name their child Yoda.

Yoda Leahy-Hu.

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Did you hear the one about the goldfish who went bankrupt?

Now he’s a bronze fish.

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What’s green and has wheels?

Grass.

I was just kidding about the wheels.

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.