Spock gets the girl, so Kirk gets jealous and starts a fight. Spock beats him up, but by then he’s no longer in the mood, so they leave the planet.
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Kirk finds a planet with no System Manager, where the users constantly play computer games. He again violates the Prime Directive by doing a reboot.
Kirk gets in a fight with a 300-year-old man, tearing Kirk’s tunic. This reveals that he has been getting hair transplants from his chest, so he exiles him to Fantasy Island.
Kirk defeats a superior computer by finding a bug in its program that had gone unnoticed for hundreds of years. As with all superior computers, as soon as its program enters an infinite loop, it immediately starts smoking and shooting off sparks until it explodes.
Kirk gets caught, so he edits the tapes.
The Enterprise goes back in time again to visit the present, which is their past, but which is also our past, since this is a very old episode. Eventually they return to the future, which is their present, but is really their future, too, since an hour has passed since we started watching.
Kirk meets a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with a bad attitude. When he discovers he can’t beat him up, he shoots him.
The crew of the Enterprise is trapped by a super-intelligent being who plays pranks on them, but it turns out to be just Wesley.
Spock takes the shuttlecraft to make a quick stop at a local planet to get a Slurpie, but the natives refuse to accept his Vulcan Express card.
Kirk beats up/makes love to people from his past.