Atlantis: The Lost Empire

http://slightlywarped.com/atlantis-the-lost-empire/

 

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The movie, Atlantis: The Lost Empire – formerly just called Atlantis until Disney figured that people were too stupid to know what Atlantis is – is the movie I’ve been waiting years for.  I thought I was going to see it with Titan A.E., but I didn’t.  I thought I was going to get it with Heavy Metal 2000, and I was sorely disappointed.   In fact, I’ve been waiting for a movie like this since I first saw the heavily edited version of the original Heavy Metal on TBS many many years back.

facts_about_lifeDoes that mean that Atlantis is a movie with violence and gore and cartoon boobies?  No… I mean, this IS Disney we’re talking about.  What I mean is, a classy animated science fiction epic and, boy, does Atlantis: The (doy!) Lost Empire deliver!

Taking place in 1914, Atlantis is a heavy sci-fi spectacle heavily influenced by Jules Verne and all of the old school science fiction movies.  In it, Milo Thatch (Michael J. Fox) leads a team to find the lost continent of Iceland… er, I mean Atlantis and end up having to save the whole place from destruction and lava and all sorts of stuff.  Needless to say, Disney’s made up for last year’s exercise in lamity…  you know the movie I’m talking about… the one with the dinosaurs that had the dinosaurs that talked and it was about dinosaurs.  Can’t remember the name of it.

Anyway, Atlantis is very classy… mature enough to earn a PG rating, but not too violent to affect the fragile little minds of those aged 1-14… that’s what MY website is for.  There’s lots of animated death, sexual innuendo, hot cartoon babes, and some pretty clever plot turns that HAVEN’T been ruined by the commercials yet, so dammit… if you haven’t seen this movie yet, go NOW before the advertising baboons give away EVERYTHING!

I loved this movie, folks, and be assured we haven’t heard the last from the Atlantis crew.  Stay tuned for the Saturday morning TV show, the happy meal, the clothing line, the multi-vitamins, the action figures, the scented candles, the custom SUV, the cereal, the home enema kit, the collectible plates, the novelty condoms, the…

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.