Are We There Yet?

Ice Cube is playing a prospective family man in the kiddie comedy, Are We There Yet?  I guess that it’s some sort of tradition or obligation for all tough-guy actors, the kind that you wouldn’t normally picture with kids to do one of these kinds of movies sooner or later.  After all, Arnold Schwarzenegger has done it… Sylvester Stallone has done it… Vin Diesel is going to do it.  I guess it was only a matter of time before the most versatile thespian of our time, Ice Cube, did it.

God help the kids that Snoop Dogg ends up with.

0Are We There Yet? is a fairly ordinary and mostly laughless movie about a playboy bachelor for life who hates kids (Ice Cube) falling head over heals with a hot divorcee named Suzanne (Nia Long) who, as fate would have it has two children.

You see… it’s funny, because she has kids… and he hates kids!  Ha, ha, ha!

The two kids have hated and run off every man that their mother has ever dated and, like me, they’re not huge fans of Ice Cube either and, when they get stuck alone with him during a long car ride on New Years Eve, they are determined to make his life a living hell for each and every mile they go.

Are We There Yet? is not a good movie… just the latest in a string of dubious offerings from Revolution Studios who seem completely incapable of making a good movie.  Are We There Yet? is just your average, predicable, and dumb screwball and slapstick comedy with a dash of cuteness on top with a heaping helping of grossness and bad behavior.  There’s absolutely nothing about this movie that makes it special, but there’s plenty about it that warrants a resounding “no” if your kids want to see it.

On the other hand – just so I don’t sound overly negative as a couple of my readers say I can get – least I have seen worse.

The sentimentality in this film is as artificial as it comes as the two children, who come off as complete monsters and not the cute little kids they were obviously written to be, finally come to love the unlovable Nick and they all live happily ever after.

And please, don’t gripe at me for ruining the movie… if you didn’t see that coming, you need to be in Special Ed.

Are We There Yet? is a movie that borrows its gags from better films, has no problem selling racial stereotypes to children, and drags out jokes to the point that they are even less funny than they were when they started out… which is an achievement considering that they weren’t that funny in the first place.

And, of course, the moronic running commentary by a talking bobble head doll on the dashboard only makes this movie that much more excruciating.

Like I said, I’ve seen worse.  The kids may enjoy this movie, but if you ask me, you shouldn’t let them watch it.  I pity the fool whose kid imitates anything the little bastards in this movie did.  For me, Are We There Yet? just wasn’t funny enough.  They should have renamed this stinker, Is It Done Yet?

About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.