Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

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Why is it that a movie about John Cusack finding his way into John Malkovich’s head is called a surrealistic masterpiece while a movie about talking fast food products battling a living exercise machine is likened to cinematic crap?  Beats me.

0What is this movie about?  Beats me again, but something tells me that there is a little touch of genius behind all of the randomness and barely controlled chaos of this crudely animated and crudely produced major motion picture.  Yes friends, welcome to what is proving to be the most difficult review of my entire “career,” Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.

I’m not gonna lie to you good fine folks out there… if you’ve never seen an episode with Master Shake, Meatwad, or Frylock this little film will have you shaking your head right before pounding it into the sticky floor of the theater.  Personally, I’m not a huge fan of the Aqua Teens… I was more of a Sealab 2021 guy myself, but I have watched the occasional episode enough to sort of kind of remotely know what was going on.

Recapping the plot would be as pointless as Lindsey Lohan attending another session of rehab.  Normally I would say that this movie has a plot that wanders aimless, but that description wouldn’t do it justice.  Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s plot doesn’t just wander, it recklessly careens into parked cars, runs down old ladies on walkers, and chases dogs on the sidewalk with laser-beam eyes and a Godzilla-like roar.  It is literally all over the place to the point that you’re in Ancient Egypt one minute, New Jersey the next, and then Pluto before you even know what’s going on.

So, okay… we’ve got a movie that is, to put it lightly, high in surrealism with a plot that is virtually about as real as the breasts of a Los Angeles actress.

Have I mentioned the overall low-browedness of this entire movie?  The robot that humps random objects?  Thieving 8-bit characters who continually throw up?  It’s beautiful.  Simply beautiful.

All right, I’m not going to preach to you or try and win you over because, as I’ve said with some of this whacked out weird movies of the past, you’re either going to love it or hate it and never before have I ever meant it more that I do now.  I really don’t think there is a middle ground to this debate even if you’re Switzerland… you are either going to love every manic minute of this animated tale or you will curse the day someone decided to make this movie.

For me, when I come up against one of these oddball motion pictures, I always have to ask myself that plain and simple question, one that cuts through the fog of ambiguity and shines a light on the single solitary and unmistakable truth.  Is this movie funny?

Indubitably so.  I laughed… sometimes I had no idea what I was laughing at, but Aqua Teen Hunger Forces hits you with the baseball bat of the absurd so many times that you begin seeing the humor of the situation… even if you’re not sure what’s going on.

I mean, really… who could not laugh at a mad scientist in a glass helmet and costume designed so poorly that you can see his nipples?  I rest my case.

I’m not saying that this movie is perfect, I’m not saying it’s the funniest of the year, and I’m not saying that this movie will win you over if you’re not a fan… as a matter of fact, I’ll bet money that it probably won’t.  What I will say with measured certainty is that Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters is a grand journey into the world of the surreal and absurd and that’s really a journey that American films don’t take that often so it’s worth checking out at least once.

The pinch of crudeness and naughty language thrown in can only be seen as a bonus.

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.