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My Friend George

http://slightlywarped.com/58478-2/
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This is a story about George, the bravest fucking man I’ve ever known.

George was born with spinal muscular atrophy. A disease that has left him COMPLETELY paralyzed from head to toe.

Very few people have ever been diagnosed, often because those afflicted die at a very young age as it deteriorates every muscle in your body. But George said FUCK THAT, I’m not going anywhere. And onward he lived.

George began using a device called the eye-gaze that utilized laser tracking to map the movements of his eyes in real time, so he could do anything on a keyboard that you or I could do. G-chat, Facebook, live nude girls, whatevz.

But George didn’t have time to waste lurking, so he got out in the World and decided to make films. George used the eye-gaze to write scripts, communicate on set (though he could talk very quietly) & even edit with Final Cut Pro.

And he loved making those mother fucking movies, so he went to USC and worked towards a god damn film degree. Can you fucking imagine that? Every day that I think about calling in sick I think about George. Because fuck me & the limitations I impose on myself. George didn’t, so why the fuck should I?

And sure, he met some cool people. I think this guy works at a pirate restaurant.

Charles Barkley’s cousin.

Some lady that loved to eat cobb salads.

But everyone that ever met George walked away feeling like he was the most amazing person they had ever encountered. Here is George dressed as Picasso’s Blue Period.. That’s right, my friend George is fucking funny.

His commitment to Christmas cards is legen, wait for it, dary.

George loved art too.

Especially comic books. So he decided to get a Watchman tattoo on his arm, because George was not in the business of giving any fucks.

One time George took us to a Roller Disco on his birthday for 70’s Space theme night.

And the thing you have to know about George is that when he does something, he fucking goes for it.

Which left him with many admirers.

One of my biggest thrills was the day that my news director gave me the go ahead to produce a story about George as he had become the most prolific user of eye-gaze technology in the World. The creator told me that Steven Hawking couldn’t even come close to what George was doing. George’s three conditions were that he would get to wear his Elvis glasses, hold a cigar in his mouth & have a sexy nurse by his side for anything we filmed. I complied.

My news director blew a gasket when he saw the footage as it aired live.

Last week George passed away.

There are not words to describe what this loss means to his loved ones, so instead here is an excerpt from the obituary that George wrote for himself many years ago:

“The date is October 25, 2075. George Cornelius was suddenly attacked and brutally beaten to death by a group of angry circus midgets last Tuesday. He was at his place of employment, there he was the CEO of Gimped Pictures (formerly Paramount Pictures). He is survived by his Mother, Father, Sister, & his one eyed goldfish Petie.”

Rest in peace my friend.

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About the author

Jason Donner

Jason Donner devoured the universe and you are all living inside him.
  • Ellex

    Sounds like an amazing guy.