So I'm thinking of these sore-loser fuckasses
who are currently marching in Washington all lining up to suck Glen Beck's
micro-cock and I realized that we've never had a greater opportunity to give
America progress... real progress. This is what we do: we make a wall.
Seriously, a wall.
We take all of that money that these Tea Party
shitheads have been wanting for that big wall on the Southern border to keep
the Mexicans out and we turn it back on them. While the Beckster is
shilling his ideas of the kind of America he thinks we all need to live in
and the brainless throngs of Fox News dittoheads are agreeing with him in
large part due to their complete inability to think on their own, we wall
them in. A large wall all around Washington D.C.. We let them
have it and they can call it Godland or Bibleville or whatever retarded name
I'm sure they'll come up with.
Then, we just leave them alone. Glen
Beck can be the king of the crazies and Sara Palin can be his little queen.
Together, they can rule the villiage idiots and whatever politicians we
decide to leave in the land of the loonies. There, they can live out
their lives as defined by the parts of the bible they want to cherry-pick
and have whatever weapons they want -- Hey, Washington D.C. is one of the
murder capitols of the US, right? They'll need them!
There's only one rule: You may not leave
Crazyland. You may enter, though... If you get fed up because, you
know, the majority of America voted for a leader you don't like, you're more
than welcome to emigrate there, but you may not immigrate out. That
way, these short-sighted fucktards who keep whining about their civil rights
and dare to put themselves in the same sentence with Dr. Martin Luthor King
can keep funneling out of America where we will be busy building solar
roads, getting off fossil fuels, and keeping the church the hell out of
Government and science.
After fifty years, we'll tear down the walls
of Crazyland to see the wasteland that these idoits have made. We'll
be nice to the survivors who crawl out of the oilsoaked and bullet-potted
rubble -- giving them inexpensive health care and a job in our booming
economy.
I'm sure they'll resist our Naziesque and
Socialist help for about five minutes before they cave.
I'm grabbing some chain link and a shovel.
Meet me in D.C. and we'll get to work.
Oh, and let's not tell Lieberman what we're
doing.
Senator King,
I am a teacher in the Dallas School District in Texas. While I know this is
far outside your region, I hope that you will read this letter and consider
what I have to say.
I was very dismayed when your political mailer regarding teacher layoffs was
brought to my attention by author and comic book writer, Peter David. While
comic books have been seen and politically skewered for over sixty years as
"base entertainment" and as dangerous reading for children, I assure you as
an educator that this is not the case. As a matter of fact, I have found
them an effective teaching tool. For several years, I taught low SES
students in inner city Dallas, many of them arriving on the high school
level as functionally illiterate. Using comic books with pictures (or as we
call them, non-linguistic representations) myself and the dedicated staff of
Dallas ISD have raised both literacy rates and have fostered a love of
reading that has grown beyond comic books and into full fledged novels and
short stories.
While I applaud and admire your commitment to keeping teachers employed and
pray that there are more on Capitol Hill such as yourself, I am disappointed
in your mailer that represents comic book as something for the uneducated.
Superman, for example, which is featured prominently in your ad, is not only
an American icon (which is like attacking the Liberty Bell in my opinion),
but also a great moral and ethical figure as his actions and stories often
teach the value of life and redemption for the good and for the evil. In a
critically acclaimed story not too long ago, Superman found himself at odds
with a group of superheroes that saw no problem with killing enemies that
got in their way. While they were more effective that Superman and seemed to
be catching favorable public attention, Superman maintained his moral and
ethical standards even in the face of public disapproval.
X-Men, which is also prominently featured in your ad, has taught tolerance
in the face of bigotry for over 40 years. It has told children and adults
that it doesn't matter what you look like or what color your skin is, all
that matters are the intentions in your heart.
The comic book industry has produced literary classics throughout its
seventy year existence and to see an attack on them is unfortunate and
unfair when a mailer with children playing video games or watching MTV would
have been more appropriate and accurate. Were you aware that there are comic
books that illustrate the horrors of the holocaust, raise awareness of drug
abuse, animal and child abuse, and many other pressing issues?
I am sure you are probably receiving several letters from educators and
artists on this matter and I do hope that you take them to heart in your
educational crusade and make amends to those of us who enjoy them and use
them to educate and foster a love of reading in young people.
I wish you the best of luck in November and, believe me, if I were in your
district I would be voting for you despite this misstep. We teachers seem to
need all of the allies we can get.
Thank you for your time, Senator King.
J. Donner
Dear Mr. Donner,
Please understand that I in no way meant anything offensive to comic books.
I have a group putting political mail pieces together for me, and that just
happened to be one of them. The message was to be don't cut school budgets,
not don't read comic books. Yes, I've heard from all over the country on
this, but yours was one of the more civil emails - such that I would respond
to!
I spent 8 years on the Montgomery County School Board here in Montgomery
County, Maryland, before I joined the legislature 8 years ago. I do stay
current on education issues and do see the value of comic books being read
by students. We've stopped all printing and distribution of that mailer, and
thank you for your email. Have a good teaching year! Nancy King
Senator Nancy J. King
Website: www.friendsofnancyking.com
Quick Joke #1
An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed
to look after and house her neighbors dog whilst the neighbors went on their
holidays.
The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was on
'heat' and the neighbors dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house
and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly
awakened by an awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. she rushed
downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating. The
dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage.
Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do
next.
Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a
rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.
The spinster explained the problem, The vet said. "I want you to take the
phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your
number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog
lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch".
"Oh" Said the spinster. "Do you think that will work"?
"Well" The vet replied "IT JUST WORKED FOR ME".
Quick Joke #2
Arthur is 90 years old.
He's played golf every day since his retirement 30 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast. 'That's it', he tells his wife,
'I'm giving up golf. My eyesight is so bad ... Once I hit the ball, I can't
see where it went'.
His wife sympathizes, and as they sit down, she says, 'Why don't you take my
brother with you, and give it one more try'.
'That's no good', sighs Arthur.. 'Your brother is ninety five. He can't
help'.
'He may be ninety five', says the wife, 'but his eyesight is perfect'.
So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his
brother-in-law.. He tees up, takes a mighty swing, and squints down the
fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. 'Did you see the ball'?
'Of course I did'! says the brother-in- law. 'I have perfect eyesight'.
'Where did it go' asks Arthur?
'I can't remember'.
Quick Joke #3
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was
given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his
life. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The
heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral... I'm a gynecologist.'
.......and the proctologist fainted.
Curiosities
Have you ever seen a guy with half a head who wasn't a gifted
politician? How about San Francisco made out of toothpicks?
Whatever happened to that Jenny girl who quit her job via whiteboard?
August 16,
2010
This is it. The official end of Summer
vacation. I go back to work tomorrow and try and further the education
of ungrateful little shits for the next ten months of pure hell.
My goodness, where did the time go. Let
me check my Summer work sheet to see if all of the tasks I had planed got
done.
Paint the garage? No.
Make a backyard pond? No.
Organize the garage? No.
Paint the spare room? No.
Maintain the garden? No.
Feed the dog? No.
All right, so I admit it. I've
squandered my entire Summer and you know what? That's what Summer is
fucking for! Squadering! It's what I will be daydreaming about
for the next ten months of administrative bureaucratic bullshit, parent
bullshit, and student bullshit.
Also, I think this is going to be my last year
teaching. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I know I'm done
with this.
Moving on... You've all been wondering where
it is, so here it is: The Twilight: Eclipse review!!!
Quick Joke #1
The kindergarten class had a homework
assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class
the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports,
the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call
upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But
eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the
class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard,
then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in
mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period," reported Johnnie.
"Well I can see that," she said, "But what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "But this morning my sister said she
missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next
door shot himself."
Quick Joke #2
AA mother and her young son were flying
Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the
window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats
have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the
stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats
have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that
there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can
ask your mother to explain it to you."
Quick Joke #3
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks,
asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten times its size when
stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be
asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and
they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell
open. Then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big
trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part
that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As
for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind.
Two, you didn't read your homework.
And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
Curiosities
A Heron meet a Bunny! Weird family pictures! Horrible names!
And more!
Starseeker
Brand new episode! Starseeker journeys to the end of the universe
where someone is waiting for them!
We've done it. We've officially
consummated the adoption of our four beautiful children. There ours.
They're all our.
Holy shit, what have I done?
You know what? In all seriousness, I
regret nothing. Sure, it's two more kids than I wanted and three more
girls than I wanted, but that's just how the system works. Natural
parents don't get to pick what they want, so why the hell should we?
Personally, I don't think I could have made it out any better than I did.
These kids are great and, for their age, their behavior is wonderful.
They have some Post Traumatic Stress from some of the stuff that their "old
mommy and daddy" put them through and can be clingy, but I could not have a
better bunch of children to call my own. I really couldn't.
My oldest is 100 percent cancer free at last
and we had the singular pleasure of having her port removed. It was a
minor thing and probably could have waited another month or two, but getting
rid of the medical devise through which she was given chemotherapy is more
symbolic. It means that my beautiful almond-eyed angel can finally
run, jump, jump, and tackle without having to worry about damaging the
goddamn thing. We plan on getting it put in a shadow box for her so
that she can keep it as a reminder that she is a survivor. I myself
will be joining the bone marrow database as soon as I can drop the last few
pounds to do it.
With school starting again next week, this
pretty much wraps up my first Summer as a dad. We didn't go on a major
vacation other than visiting SeaWorld in San Antonio (which is, by far, one
of the worst theme parks in the entire world to carry a major name).
With a little luck and continued health, we're all flying to Hawaii next
Summer for our first major family foray.
So now, half of my distractions are gone and I
can get back to working on this site which is, of course, the very center of
your pathetic existence. You may resume living now.
Quick Joke #1
A married couple was in a terrible accident
where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that
they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So
the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would
have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would
tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor
also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new
beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends
and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion
at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything
you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your
mother kiss you on the cheek."
Quick Joke #2
A man walks into a bar and looks depressed.
The bartender comes over and, with a great show of compassion, gives him a
beer on the house. "Something bothering you, pal?" the bartender asks.
"The wife and I had a fight," the man said,
"She doesn't like it when I say the word, 'bitch.'"
"Why is that?"
"She thinks I need to learn her mother's real
name."
Quick Joke #3
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one
night.. The waiter came and took their drink order.
'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.
'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner
'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy..
'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table
and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.
'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.
'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'
The third piggy says -
'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"
Curiosities
Ten more galleries of strange sick awesomeness!
Awesome
Mysteries
What could have happened in Russia to nine hikers who wandered
half-naked into the snow?
The Arcade
Six new games and the beginning of a new and less-confusing layout.
Tell me what you think!
