This woman has her bridge club every Thursday
night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix
her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's
playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the
time.
"Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry
if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out of her friend's house, her
great hand forgotten on the table.
When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough time
to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted
lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can
of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just
as her husband is pulling up.
She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes
he is loving it! "Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for
me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day, mmmmm!"
And that night they had sex for the first time in months and it was great!
Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this dinner for her
husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they are all horrified.
"You're going to kill him," they say, or "He's just yanking your chain," but
she continued to make him his cat food dinner and then, afterwards, they
would bonk like fiends.
Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women the Thursday
after the funeral attacked our new widow for being so callous. "You killed
him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in!
How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered
your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantel when
he was licking his ass."
Quick Joke #2
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for
the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked
it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the
lamp and he said "I want to know the person you hate the most"
The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife.
Why?"
"I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three
wishes but whatever youwish for your ex-wife will get double the amount."
"OK, I wish for a billion dollars"
"Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion"
"I wish for a mansion in California with a
swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything"
"Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your
final wish"
The explorer walked around the room and came
back to the genie with a stick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to
beat me half to death."
Quick Joke #3
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had
been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a
gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in
value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your
paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor."
CHey Jason, just saw
the pic on slightlywarped.com…….AWESOME!!!!
A few months after I sent it to you, a buddy texted me and said it was on
some website that has crazy pic’s like your sight. I thought it was
hilarious. Within the next few weeks, it topped the charts on Digg.com as
well as break.com.
Kind of a shocker, but it is very awesome. I always love finding
unique/funny/intriguing pic’s, and to have one of mine on a bunch of
places online (and to see that people like it……like a LOT of views) is
just funny and pretty cool.
You are the only person I sent it to. It is on mine as well as some other
friends myspace’s and facebook’s, so someone had to have just seen it and
sent it to some different websites.
I’m really glad that you liked it enough to put it up….not to mention that
you credited me and told about the email I sent. YOU ROCK!!!
I looked at the headline just as I was switching back to another tab….and
was like “pineapple what?...no way” Right when I clicked back I just
busted out in laughter.
I love your site, and am happy to see so much new stuff up.
Thanks again Jason,
-Tim.
Dear Tim,
Glad to be of service to spread your face over
the internets. It's a great pic and you deserve all of the virtual
fame and virtual dollars that go with it.
Love, Donner.
Curiosities
A whole bunch of new and odd things to keep you up at night.
